Rehash#@#@#

there are actually a lot of things that i wanted to write in my last post..!!! :-/
somehow somewhere i think i lost the track and ended up putting into words something that doesn't feel right!!! atleast to me... i feel i could have worded it better..!!! hmm... !!! well... er... u-huh..!! whew!!!

My Amma :-)

I have been wanting to write about this for a long time now… somehow till now never got the right words… I hope I get them now..!!!
There is this well-known saying that,
“God Created Mothers Because He Knew He Could Not Be Everywhere”
So true na…
I had never given much thought to the relationship I shared with my mother. Being daddy’s little girl and all that, amma always used to be this woman who would make me sit and study, make me clean my dirty room, make me eat all those yucky veggies, give me stern warnings for spending too much time on the phone, not let me watch TV especially when there is an interesting movie, tell me what to do, how to do, what dress to wear for special occasions, how to tie my hair, everything,,, every single thing about me she had an opinion regarding it..!!! Well not that appa didn’t offer his opinion on the things that I did, but somehow amma’s interference (u can’t actually term it that.. I hope u understand what I mean) was a lil’ bugging!!!
Oh yes!! I loved her a lot and all that even when she projected the “strict woman” image…!! But I never gave much thought to the relationship…
Early in my schooling days I used to listen to her meekly, do everything that she asked me to do; basically I was this obedient, goody-goody daughter… but once I entered into my teens, I imbibed a rebellious streak and somehow in my mind she turned into this “enemy” who never used to let me do anything I wanted… she had an opinion for anything and everything that I did and whatever I did was not the right way..!!! We have had a lot of fights on a lot of issues ranging from the minutest things to the biggest things ever..!!! After my high school was over with I cajoled, begged, reasoned and fought with her to send me to Coimbatore to study for my higher secondary. She wanted me to stay at Palghat and do my studies there while my dad was okay with me going to Coimbatore … I won the fight!!! After that came college where she won this time… I wanted to join Victoria College which was a co-ed but she wanted me to join Mercy College which was a girls only!! I didn’t argue with her because somehow I realized that it’d be safer and wiser for me to join Mercy…!!
Anyways I joined for my b.com at Mercy and then started the same old story… same old fights about every single thing under the sun..!! I know I have hurt her ‘n’ number of times with my words and actions and have made her cry loads of times too… I have given her so much of tension and worries and somehow in my mind “very little happiness”… but if u probably ask my mom this she’d deny it..!!!
And then one fine day appa got transferred to a small quaint little town about 5 hrs from home and he was forced to stay there and work. My brother Ashwin had joined for college in Chennai and there we were… Mother and Daughter all alone for 5 days of the week (appa came home on weekends).. But somehow those days (close to a year) were an eye-opener about the kind of person my mom truly was… she is amazing..!!! Truly mid-blowing!!!
Now I start telling you about this wonderful woman I call “amma”…
She is the best person I can ever find on this earth… truly the finest human being…
She is my biggest support in whatever I do and however I want to do it… though she initially opposed me going to Mumbai for my internship, in the end she was the one who stood by me throughout those 2 months apart from a couple of other people!! She is the one who encourages me to do things in life and to be independent in my own stead… she was the one who encouraged me to learn dancing and pursue mba when she realized that I was keenly interested in them… she is the one who takes my side every single time when she thinks I have done the right thing irrespective of whether its against her husband or the family… I will probably run out of words if I start telling about all the ways she has been my constant companion and support all throughout till now..!!Amma is this very talented woman… she is the best epitome of a home-maker that I have ever seen.. the way she juggles her school work, house work, her interests and still finds time to take care of me and appa and achu and our tantrums etc is something that is very difficult to put into words… she sings well…she sketches well…she paints well.. She cooks extremely well…she is interested in a whole lot of things ranging from saas-bahu serials to slokas…!!! She tries her level best to keep up with the latest trends and gizmos though she is not too interested in them.. She has an eclectic taste when it comes to sense of dressing and a damn good humour sense if I say so myself… her laugh which I rather call a guffaw is something which fills the listener with laughter too.. she exudes a feeling of warmth when u see her and the way she envelopes you in a bear hug makes u feel as though u could stay in it forever..!!! There are a lot of things that I could say about my mom… go on and on and on….
Somehow today I regret all those days I never realized what a great companion she was… suddenly she has changed from the demure lady that I knew into this hip and trendy, even to an extent cool mom..!!! earlier even when she used to be a little hesitant about my friendship with guys today she is pretty cool about me being friends with more guys than girls and even takes an avid interest in the happenings at college… you know..The gossip and stuff ;-)!!! :-).. Lolz..! Today I can relate to her much better than I do with any of my other friends and somehow am at more ease talking to her about anything and everything that’s on my mind..!!
As I grow older she has started gaining this very important place in my life…!!!
That of a mother, best friend, mentor, guide, philosopher and sometimes this loony chilled pal that I can hang out with…!!! :-)… there have been times in the past that I have missed her a lot… times when I needed to open up to her about a lot of things… times I was ill… times when I just wanted the comfort of her hand on my head… times I just wanted her presence with me..!! For I know that just the fact that I could sit with her or have her comforting presence somewhere close will make me feel better..!!
I have heard from my mom’s friends about how much she misses me and how much she talks about me and what all I am upto in college and my achievements… and somehow it makes me feel all the more proud to have a mom like her..!! I don’t know in what sense I mean proud here..!!! Its just feelings!!! I am somehow unable to explain it..!!I am sure all mothers are as great as mine… motherhood is a blessing in that sense… I don’t even want to think about how we or rather I’d have survived without my amma…
I can go on and on and on and on about her …. And fill this whole blog with only things about her…!!! You never know.. I might just end up doing that ;-)…
I have made a start and I intend to tell you what wonderful beings my parents and brother are…. atleast to me :-)
But for now..
Amma I love you a lot and I’m so glad that you are my mother!!! I thank God for making me your daughter I hope I can give you all happiness that you deserve and make you proud..!!!I am so proud that you are my amma.. :-)… love u ma…
This is a poem by Howard Johnson ………
“M” is for the million things she gave me,
”O” means only that she's growing old,
”T” is for the tears she shed to save me,
”H” is for her heart of purest gold;
”E” is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
”R” means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell a word that means the world to me - "MOTHER"

Here we go....!!!

Bonjour ppl…
Quite a lot of things that I want to say… rather write but dunno where to start… how to start…lolz…!!! Wats it called??? Yeah.. Writer’s block..!! Even before I have started writing I have been tagged by “Writer’s Block” (Amazing!! :-/)
Even in the last class of International Business handled by one of my favorite lecturers, I clammed up during my presentation… :-s… in this case I guess you can term it something else(I dunno the exact term!!) this has never happened to me and I have no clue why it happened … and that too to a chatterbox like me..!!! Jeez!! The best part was it was more or less a combined class for both the batches of my classmates and all my friends were there…the ones I hang out with in college!!. :-s… I mean I had the words in my mind.. in front of me in a piece of paper for reference…and my partner was prompting me from the side and still I was tongue-tied…!!!Lolz..!! And to top it all off, I had the professor consoling me saying that it usually happens to him too and that he understands..!!! Now that is something that I can’t complain abt.. at least Deepak Sir understood my situation, which unfortunately very few of my classmates did I am sure..!!hmmm…!!!
This is not the end of the story..!!The next episode was like a re-run..!! Same class.. he asked me a simple question on what “emerging markets” are.. I had a few thoughts in my mind and when the question was put to me..lo behold!! There I was, tongue-tied again..!! and when Sir asked me if this happens e’time the spotlight is on me.. well.. yeah u r right.. I could not answer that too..
:-s.. Whew!!! Maybe it’s the IB class… maybe it’s the classroom which is jinxed… God knows why I clam up like that… Argh..!! :-/
Okie.. quite a paradox that is… started off saying that I have no words to put my thots too.. and there it is… a pretty decent blog (modesty is my forte;-))
Signing off for a while…
Catch ya later..
Till then..
Live Life… Queen Size ;-)

This is ME :-)

Passionate Dancer.

Voracious Reader.

On and Off Blogger .

Adventure Seeker.

Perpetual Wanderlust.

Spirited Imp.

Trivia Addict.

Mythology Buff.

Soul Searcher.

JACK of MOST trades...

MASTER of a FEW!!

As a person, I love myself.

I am passionate about a lot of things in life. I love nature. I am a voracious reader. I love adventure sports. I love travelling. I love meeting new people, going to places, and just living in the moment. I am proud of certain things that I have accomplished and ashamed of a whole lot of mistakes that I have committed.

I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I prefer being called a realist. I am a fanatic about my independence and individuality and I hate interference from anyone unless I ask for it. I am a fan of people who can stand up for themselves in the face of problems life throws at them.

I experiment with things a lot. I am passionate about dancing in any form whether it’s classical, jazz, hip hop, break or even dappankuthu. I love to get drenched in the rain but only when I am not going anywhere.

I am not a core romantic at heart though little gestures from people please me to no end. I do not like talking about emotions unless I am playing agony aunt.

I am considered stubborn and arrogant by people who think I have a huge attitude and a chip on my shoulder. I do not pass judgment on anyone unless the situation warrants it. I prefer to get to know the person first.

I hate hypocrites and cheats and liars and spineless people. I love talking about myself. I hate dispensing advice to people.

I am not good at consoling people when they are mood off or crying. I am a post-tears person.

I can chill out with any sort of people as long as they let me be me. I hate change unless I want to change. Forcing me to do something that I do not want to do is enough to make an enemy out of me.

I value some relationships in life above anything else and I will not let anything happen to them or let go of them at any cost.

I am very blunt and practical when it comes to talks, confrontations or discussions. I do not mince words. I am short-tempered but not violent. I hate people telling me how to lead my life and what I have to do to be a better person.

I am lazy. I love collecting memorablia, books, movies, trinkets. I am very possessive about stuff that I own and certain people in my life.

I am happy and content the way I am - Thank you very much! :-)

Phew!!!