It’s been quite
a while since I penned something on my blog that cannot be termed as frivolous
or even sorts of a gap filler. Yeah! gap-filler is the right word here
considering that I have been writing about random stuff to the point that when
I open my blog, all I want to do is to go back and read those old posts that I
have written. They are the ones that I can relate to the most. They are the
ones that I wrote for the sake of writing and not for the sake of letting the
blog die …
Writing is
something that I enjoy, or rather enjoyed, seeing that I haven’t been doing
much of it lately. If this is writer’s block then this is the worst that I have
ever endured. And I fear that this post is going to be a lot monotonous as
well.
You’ve been forewarned!
Now proceed! That is if you are still reading this!
I turned 28 a
few days back. It was not as earth-shattering as expected. I always thought
that turning a year older especially when you cross your mid twenties is going
to be hard! With all the brouhaha that’s associated with hitting the 30’s and
turning a year older, this was something that I had mixed opinions about. But somehow
with each passing year, I am surprised to find that I am looking forward to the
next one where another year will be added to my years of existence. I am keen
to know what kind of a person I will turn out to be and how different it will
be from this year.
A year back, I
could not have even predicted the changes that have taken place in my life and
those surrounding me. I did not have even the faintest clue. Through each
passing year, it still amazes me as to how much as a person I have changed. Or
how circumstances have changed me!! I am not the same person I was a couple of
years back. If you were to meet me today after a gap of few years, you are
bound to be surprised / shocked by the changes in me. I have changed a lot over
the past few years and I have come to accept it. My priorities have changed, my
ideologies have changed, there is a much clearer sense of what kind of a person
I am and what I want to be.
If you were to
ask me if I prefer this current me to the old me, I don’t have an answer for
you. In a lot of ways I think that the old me was a lot less complicated as a
person rather than this current me. The complications in me as person arise
probably with age. I know I used to be more flexible as a person, I know I used
to be a lot more happy-go-lucky and a lot less decisive!! It used to be more of
go with the flow than do things that really I liked! Oh! How things have
changed from thereon…!!!
Expecting me to
be the same person I was a few years back is something next to impossible.
There might probably be glimpses of that girl that I once was years back,
vestiges of the shadow of a being that I once was. Asking me why I am not like
that and what has changed and why I have changed as a person is something that
I have no answer to except the fact that, as life goes on, there are times that
you are forced to change from within. And this coming from a person who is not
overtly fond of change!! In fact given a chance I’d rather have everything
as-is until kingdom come!! Or maybe not!!
Yeah! Bundle of
contradictions..That’s me!!
And now that I
have written so much, which I am quite surprised at myself… I have no idea how
to end this post!!
Err... So this
is what you’re stuck with!! Talk about a dilemma!
And also it’s
quite a serious post eh! Ah well! :-/
Edited to add:
I myself can’t figure out what this post was supposed to convey in the first
place!! Good luck to you guys! :)
