Me and Romance!!! Bah, Gah and Double Gah!

"And what’s romance? Usually, a nice little tale where you have everything As You Like It, where rain never wets your jacket and gnats never bite you... "

I am not romantic…!

I know this! In fact I realized this - a long while back! I mean I am good with writing stuff and all that… but to be verbally romantic is something that goes right above my head… I just can’t bring myself to do it… I am every romantic’s idea of a spoil-sport…. Ask my fiancé, he’ll give you loads of examples… I am a horror cartoon when it comes to romance… I find it very artificial to be verbally eloquent in saying romantic stuff… the books are ok! I laugh at that too! I just can’t for the life of me figure out how can people say romantic things with a straight face… if I ever started to say something, I’d probably end up laughing..!

You know there was this one time that me and my guy were chatting on the phone and we were kind of discussing on the topic of romance. He told me that since I read quite a lot I should know some romantic wordings… he asked me to tell him something romantic… and I told him (repeatedly) that I cannot say something romantic… I find it very weird and funny… yeah yeah go on laugh! I can hear you! So he baited and cajoled and requested and all that in a very sweet nice tone and I fell for it!! I might not be romantic but I secretly like it when I hear something romantic … :P just some things! Not everything! (Point to be noted).

So I told him this – “she gave him a dozen roses, 11 real and 1 fake and told him – I’ll love you till the last one dies”….

Yes that’s my idea of romance! Go on snort and snicker!

For a few seconds I heard nothing from his side. Just silence… then slowly he said, “What was that? I did not understand it.”

Wow… just my luck…! I know that it sounds a little different when you actually say and read it… but then still!!!

So I repeated it again! And then I had to explain it word by word! Like you know, fake roses don’t die and therefore the love is symbolically represented as being forever types…!

That’s not the end of story. I really wanted to know if what I said was so tough. So I tried the same thing on my brother.

Blank stare. He gave me a look which said, “don’t tell me you tried this on your guy!!”.

I still did not give up.

I told it to my parents. They said, “Please don’t do this! Please don’t spoil your love life. Agreed it’s romantic and all but it is a little difficult. Don’t give that poor boy so much trouble!”

Now what am I supposed to do…

You know, me being romantic and all that…..

I rest my case…

PS: Ashwin from now on… my romance is limited to letters ;)