Personality Viruses...

Points to ponder:

1) How come there are always people who know how to do a better job of doing something?

2) How come there are always people who know everything about every single topic under the sun?

3) How come there are always people who know what exactly is going to happen in a crisis?

4) How come there are always people who have an opinion on anything that happens and are so sure that their opinion is the right one?

5) How come all these people are the ones whom I end up having the misfortune to meet?

As life goes on, you have the fortune (mis!) of meeting a wide variety of people. People who are of the fixed notion that, they are better off than anyone else, they are the best in whatever they do, they are always right and suffice to say, they are perfect!

Far from it….

Some of these types that you meet can be classified into –

The “I-am-sorry-I’m-still-in-the-past-century” type:

They have fixed notions about how things should be, how people should behave, follow rules and regulations for every single thing right from eating out or talking to sending a mail. They hate it if someone questions their way of living and are more of the old-fashioned type. They get defensive for every single thing, can’t accept a single thing about the way people or society is at present and in general irritate the normal people. And god forbid, if you’re a girl caught talking to a boy…. Be prepared for a lecture! Right from advising you on how to behave with superiors to how you should be sending a mail, these are the kind that gets you irritated more so than often.

The “here-use-my-shoulder-to-weep or sob-whether-you-want-or-not” type:

These people think they are god’s answer to people’s troubles. They have a solution for everything and an ‘I told you so…’ look on the face whenever a little trouble comes your way, more so if you have made the mistake of not letting them know the minute details of your life. Of course even if there is nothing untoward or no trouble they still have this ‘you’ll live to regret this’ kind of expression on whatever your actions are unless it’s the one that they advised you on.

The “I-can-do-a-better-job-of-doing-this” type:

These are the guys who think that whether its running the country or managing an organization or simply just doing a task, it’s them who can do it best… the others no matter how good they are, can only just about manage it…. these guys have an opinion on everything, a better way of doing things, and more often than not, try to show off their half-baked knowledge on whatever it is – Stocks, Computers, Nuclear Physics, Metallica or Mallika Sherawat.

The “plain-old-artificial” type:

They simply seep artificiality. It’s like its part of their blood. They make passionate speeches about jingoism for e.g.:, stand up for lesser known causes, make a hue and cry about how something that is common in society should be considered as taboo. You can feel it when they make those long drawn out, point-validating monologue on a particular thing. The artificiality just oozes out of their pores…! It more or less makes you want to puke.

The “let-me-help-you-out” type:

These are the guys who interfere, butt in, and basically poke their noses into whatever you try to do at any point of time. They seem to think that you are in dire need of help and therefore offer to help you out irrespective of whether you want it or not. Sometimes it gets to the point of saturation and then … KAPUT..

Anyways…. So those are some of the types that you might end up meeting in your life….

And we all know what harm any of the above hybrids can do…

Mostly these are the reactions that you’ll have!!

a) A tendency to throw the nearest thing at the person intended

b) A feeling so frustrating that you just sit with you head in your hands and try to shut out the monologue

c) An uncontrollable itch to slowly gouge out your body parts considering that it would be comparatively better to listening to the crap that is being dished out

d) It can also invoke religious fervor in you to save you from the clutches of the being.

e) Beating your head on the wall to avoid the other mental trauma.

Me- I am the lucky one. I have actually felt like doing all of those sometimes all at the same time ….

I am a privileged soul, you see….

Some of the above-said characters I get to meet every single day! :-)