When I’m in pain — physical or emotional — the kindest thing I can do for myself is…

Hmm! That is an unusual prompt. I don’t think I have ever written openly about pain on this blog! I have made the odd references to it on and off but more or less, I try avoiding and speaking about it. Exactly the same kind of thing when I am going through it as well.

The one thing I do when I am going through physical pain (and that used to be a lot considering how clumsy I was!), I turn into a weepy sort especially when I am talking to the folks back home! :P You know, missing home and such :) I get all teared up when I am speaking to Amma or Appa when I am physically sick! At that point, all I really want to do, is just curl up near them and have them soothe and cuddle me.

As for the emotional pain, it’s a whole other gamut. Usually I end up thinking about it so much, make up imaginary scenarios in my head, give myself a migraine and end up heading to sleep. If it’s not too much of an emotional upheaval, I try distract myself and read myself to sleep. Either ways, sleep is a constant. I always believe that sleeping it off helps to alleviate all pain.

There have been times, when I have been so down and out physically, that I have had to have friends doing everything for me. I am truly blessed that way to have friends like family. However, when I torment myself emotionally, I usually try and have my space. I don’t really like talking about pain. I avoid it, I distract myself.

And now let’s move onto some happier things please!! Shall we? :)

30 things that make me smile! :) :)

I like today’s prompt … it makes me feel all nice, warm and fuzzy when I think about these things and trust me it was no easy task to think up of things that would make me smile… I am sure I would have a lot more if I dredge up the energy to think, but some of these materialistic and not-so-materialistic things should do for now…

And therefore, in no particular order ...

“Traditions that I have formed or those that have been followed for ages at home. Going back home for a vacation and checking out each nook, cranny and corner for familiar smells and things. Black and white photographs. Random hugs from the back. Dancing and sweating it out and having an ‘endorphin’ high! A very well made cup of coffee with just the right amount of milk and very little sugar. Drizzles on the face while taking long walks. Songs, places, things that bring back bitter-sweet memories. Surprises when you least expect it. A long road trip. Bike rides or car drives where the window is open and the breeze is on your face bringing with it those stray droplets. The smell of old books. Road-side tea and samosas. Visiting temples just in time to see the deeparadhanai and listening to the legends of what made these temples special. The smell of chembakam flowers that brings back memories of Kalam and elaneer! Soft cotton sarees which fall just-so-right. Vatthakozhambu and potato fry. Babies and that baby smell that pervades the room when they are around. Sunsets and sunrises (whenever I get a chance). Subtle word plays. A good book that keeps me thinking about it for the next couple of hours or days. Walking barefoot on morning dew filled grass! Early morning quiet. Big furry dogs. Adventure sports and the high that comes with it. A feel-good movie or a well-choreographed dance performance or a well-sung song! Unexpected compliments. Traveling to a new place, soaking in the sights and the culture. Decade old friendships and the memories associated with them. 

A post well-written.”

On the eve of the Year of the Monkey!

Its day 7 of the month and the 2^nd day of the long weekend.

Remember how excited I was about the long weekend coming up and 4 days of holidays and all that, now I am raring to get back to my work! Yes! The same conundrum! The fact that the grass is always greener on the other side.

The thing about staying in a place long enough (in my case – 6+ years) is that you have seen all that there is to be seen, done all that there is to be done and now there is nothing to do. And the other thing about staying in the world’s most expensive city is that the minute you step out of the house you end up spending at the very least 10$ … sometimes there is nothing called self-control. Case in point today evening, I stepped out in the evening with friends and ended up buying a pair of tan coloured pants of which I had no need!! My justification to self was that new clothes I can always end up using! :P Sigh! Yes! I know.

But like I was saying, the thing about staying in a place too long is that everything apart from regular or even impromptu shopping is ‘been there and done that’!! Oh, I can hear you saying that why did you go out of Singapore somewhere. This is just one of those times that none of the plans materialized. Next long weekend, wait and watch this space ;-) I have big plans!! But coming back to Singapore, especially on the eve of Chinese New Year, when everything is closed. 90% of the shops in the mall we went today to were shut! This was at 7 in the evening! And as far as going out and partying is concerned, I would rather end up settling in bed with a nice book and all snuggled up inside my quilt. The days of pulling a night-outer are well past. Oh the perils of growing old ;) :P

And now I have no idea how to end this post. Do I go on and on about how boring Singapore is on long weekends, or do I go on about how things change as soon as you hit the 30s. I think I just got an idea for my next blog post ;)

And as for this one, I think I will end it by wishing you all …..

A VERY HAPPY GONG XI FA CAI AND A HAPPY YEAR OF THE MONKEY! :)

Stay happy and stay blessed! :) :)

I want to title this as 'An Ode to something...' But I can't think of anything!

I was browsing through my feed reader a little while ago, looking for ideas on blog posts. I came across a post on social networking sites. Now this is a subject that I haven't really touched upon in this blog. Then I realized that I did have something to talk about it.  

Thanks to the usage of WhatsApp and Facebook and other social media sites, I have gotten in touch with a whole lot of my old friends and classmates and such. And when I say gotten back in touch, I mean accepted the friend requests, sent a few friend requests because we had more than a reasonable number of mutual friends, wished them on Facebook on their birthdays and I am a part of the school / college WhatsApp groups.

I’ll be honest. When I started getting friend requests from old school mates and classmates, I was thrilled and surprised. Thrilled because oh now I could go through their photos and see how much has changed from the days I knew them, and surprised because well, I didn’t really think they would remember me or who I was after all these years. Let’s face it, back in school, I mean my 10^th and 12^th schooling I was a nondescript kid. I kept to myself, spoke when I was spoken to, took part in dance events, didn’t really hang out with the popular kids, basically kept a low profile. I was never comfortable in large groups, I never spoke to everyone and anyone and I tend to get claustrophobic just thinking about them large groups. So when Facebook was starting to get really popular, it was all about how many people you could track down, add, increase the friends count etc etc, leave alone whether you actually recognized the person from their profile. I think that for some people it still holds true. Frankly it takes me a while to figure out who the person who sent me the friend request sometimes is, and that is after a lot of prodding, nudging, stalking their profile for clues or the worst case, asking one of the common friends. Which I do know is really bad. I am sorry about it but that’s the truth. It has been a little more than 15 years since I passed my boards and more than 10 years since my graduation. In this last decade, after I have passed out of my school and college for graduation, I haven’t ever been back to my alma mater. Not for any events, not for reunions, not even to just visit and stop by and admire the façade.

The same holds true for my MBA. I passed out of MBA 9 years ago. I actually liked that place. But I hated it too. I shared a love-hate relationship with the place. No not with the people. But the place brought out the worst in me. It turned me into this girl with a pseudo-attitude and a penchant for drama and someone who thrives on the dynamics of other people around me. I hated myself when I was there and when I left the place, moved to take up my job, it was with a sense of relief. And over the years, I have come to realize that I don’t miss it. I never felt connected to the place there. Much as I never felt connected to any of my places of education. 

So when I read posts about how much people missed the school / college, the canteen / hostel, or how they walked over the narrow paths, the grass-filled grounds etc, I cannot for the life of me relate to it. I didn’t see what the connection was. I didn’t miss the places. I didn’t even sometimes recollect who or what they were talking about. I did miss a few people whom I had met there, sure, but those that I missed, I have made it a point to keep in touch with them. The others I decided that I would let them be. As they let me be.

And I mean no offence here to anyone. Not to my alma maters nor to my school / class mates. These people have been a huge part of my formative years and they have played a humongous role in shaping me up to be the person I am.

And this is the person I am today.

And so on this note, a few weeks back I cleared up my friends list, removed a few people from it that I didn’t recognize, exited out of a few WhatsApp groups and basically did a bit of cleaning up and organizing. I am sure all of you must have done it at some point or the other. I think the exit out of the WhatsApp groups may have ruffled a few feathers for a few minutes but honestly I am sure, no one really even feels bad about it.

In any case, a bit of spring cleaning is good and it fills you with a new purpose. Makes you feel like that you have taken control of your life, for about 5 minutes :P

If any of my friends, college or school or even old work colleagues are reading this, and you feel offended for some reason, please do understand that it is nothing personal. It’s just the way I am wired now.

I have stopped trying to please people for the sake of it. I have stopped trying to fit in. I have stopped trying to make people like me. If they like me for who I am, good, if they don’t, too bad, I can’t do anything about it. I still do try and change some peoples’ opinions about me, but I have stopped trying to shove it down their throats and make a point out of it.

I have realized that I am like this. And I like me like this. 

Sometimes, growing old does have its moments! ;) 

2016 - a week gone by and a nice new shiny badge from BlogAdda :)

7 days down in 2016 and it has been an awesome week in 2016 so far. :)

Highlights of the week…

My New Years start was pretty darn good. Close Friends, Drizzles and the Fireworks. It’s a combination that cannot go wrong ever. :) Midnight wishes SG time with the family and friends who are as good as family and a temple visit on the evening of Jan 1^st rounded it all up very well. :) :)

Last working day at Bank of Singapore was a couple of days ago. When I joined BOS, I was, more or less to say, floundering. Not knowing what I was getting into, plus I was going through a shitty personal time as well back then. Three months into the job, I was ready to quit. Honestly. And then, my manager for the better parts of my BOS journey, convinced me otherwise. He told me to take a break, come back rejuvenated and then start all over again. I did that. And then there was no looking back. I can safely say that BOS was one helluva journey. I have dipped my hands into so many aspects of the team there and have had the opportunity to learn so much there. I think it has made me evolve into a better professional at the end of the day and for that I will always thank my manager at the beginning of my stint in BOS.

I’m right now at HOME SWEET HOME. :) It has been about 7 months since I have come here. The first few hours at home, I’m like this dog who goes around sniffing each and every corner trying to grasp and mark its territory, wondering what has changed and how much. :) There is definitely no place like home as they say. Forced double helpings of all kinds of yummy food, loot from Kalam (read jackfruits, coconuts, guavas and bananas) and the fact that I am not doing one single thing. I eat, laze, read, sleep and repeat.

But the highlight of this week has to be the fact that my last post, was picked up by the good folks at BlogAdda for their TangyTuesday Picks :) … First ever time that has ever happened… and the high!! WHOA!! :) They have given me a nice shiny badge that I have updated the post with and a cute write up on their site.. So Yaaaayyy!! :)

Check this out..

So that’s been my week peeps :)

How has yours been? :)