Mango Sorbets, Rock Festivals and Celebrating Women Power at Work Fultoo Ishtyle!! ;) :P - Days 32,33 and 34 of the 100 Happy Days Challenge!!

So February’s been done with and March is here in full swing… Also, just saying, the days are flying by so fast. It’s already a week down in March… Days until now have been filled with lazy weekends, mango sorbets, rock music and some mighty good fun times at work! So far, you’re doing a pretty good job, dear March!! Please keep this up and I shall be one happy person!! Touch wood!!

The first weekend of March was one of the laziest I have ever had in a long long time. Rested so well, and did not step out of the house at all, except late Sunday evening for some minor shopping, one of which was this absolutely friggin’ delicious MANGO SORBET. Happiness in a cup! No doubts at all! Pure heaven!!

The highlight in March (so far that is) is that I attended my first ever ROCK Concert!! Thanks to this friend of mine! Singapore had its ROCK FESTIVAL over at Fort Canning Park and there were a few bands that came to play – Alter Bridge being one of them! While it was all nice and good fun and lots of energy around, the standing and the wait for it to start was a bit of a drag! But once they started; wowweee!! Pure Magic I tell you! May I please tell you that I had a lovely time!! You could actually feel the beats thrumming through the ground, to your feet all the way up to the eardrums and inside your head. I am not kidding!! Nope, Sir no! So fun was had and all that followed by a nice dinner, some good catch-up time and the pleasant feeling of having had a good time, which frankly speaking, is not that easy to come by these days!!

Women’s day is also here in all its glory and we have been having multiple celebrations at work… reason primarily being you have a team full of ONLY GIRLS (Is my mom reading this!!? :P) and therefore Women’s day HAS TO be celebrated. Even better is, you don’t leave your boss any choice but to treat you because you know he does have the additional task of dealing with mood-swings, ups and downs and all the attached frenzy of working with a team full of girls! ;) :P Hobson’s choice really! :P  But on a more serious note, it’s really heartening to see that he took the effort to treat us! :) :) Things like this make you feel special you know.. ;)  

We also channeled the Oscar Selfie pic that crashed twitter and had a mini-version of our own! Super-duper fun!!  :) And also found out this new coffee place here called Joe and Dough which serves some amazing coffee and super-awesome traditional cheesecake! :D :D 

So that’s March so far for you…

Live the short life to the fullest. Be Happy and Stay Happy. Peace out dearies!! 

Cuddle, Snuggle, Nuzzle and Huddle - Day 5 of the 100 Happy Days Challenge!! :-) :-)

I am running late on my post for Day 5 people…

This has been such a long day and its only Tuesday…

It has been a very hectic day so far and all I really really want to do is just to go home and curl up on my bed with a good book and one of my trusted companions…

Unfortunately, you can’t take your pick from the lot below, but I can and that’s the good part… the best part is that this is only half my stash and the other half is at India, at my room… under my stern instructions and mom’s watchful care!! :-) :-)

And also, this is where you go awww…. :-D :-D

Because nothing else according to me screams Cute, Adorable, Fluffy and Cuddly all at the same time… :-) :-)

Yep! Welcome to my other world…

Happiness to me is snuggling up against one of them; burrowing my head into their squishy-squashy fur and imagining that I am back home, with the family… this is what happens when I start missing my folks too much… ;-) ;-)

And before I end up sounding all maudlin and mushy…

Meet my troopers, my security blankets, my warmth-giving companions and the receivers of my endless hugs!! :-) :-)

"In a world where everyone seems to be larger and louder than yourself,

it is very comforting to have a small, quiet companion."

-Peter Gray

Cuddly and warm, these calming creatures reassure me in the days;

When fears fly before reason and the world loom bleak instead of beautiful.

The Teddy Bear, all things to all ages... symbol that all is right with the world if one only believes.

-Anonymous

The 20s as I saw it! :-) :-)

There’s this article that’s doing the rounds in ‘my internet world’. I say my internet world because almost everywhere I log in; I see some reference or the other to this. It’s on my Flipboard, my Facebook feed (at least from 6-7 folks), on my reader feeds and of course on Thought Catalog. Where it all started from!! And add to it, the fact that I am at the fag end of my 20s, and also in the middle of doing a series of blog posts on the same subject, this seemed like too good a chance to pass up on.. Also as an aside, I am suffering from a block of not knowing what to write … so kill two birds with one stone I say! ;)

Here is the link to the original article published in Thought Catalog.

And here’s my take on it.

1. Have a roommate you love.

You know, back when I was at my first ever job, I moved into a PG and ended up sharing my room with a whole bunch of girls. I was no stranger to this. Considering the fact that I stayed in a hostel, run by folks who channeled Hitler’s spirit, the PG seemed like a haven really. However, I did meet quite a few interesting characters. One of them of was this girl, W, who soon became a good friend and a close enough one. We did the whole “roommates” stuff – midnight binges, taking care of each other, letting each other in on life stories, etc .. Until the time I was in the PG. After I moved out, of course, as is the case with a lot of my friends, I lost touch with her. Got in touch through Facebook again, only to lose touch again... Seemed like a cycle, and with more pressing matters to attend to, this took to the back-burner. But those were fun times.

2. Have a roommate you hate.

Same PG. Same room. Different gal. S was a character like none. She bought clothes by the dozen, loved dressing up, loved garnering attention, was rude, unbearable and had a high pitched whiny noise that was grating on the ears. Of course, I could be biased here. Things really hit the roof, when she got a friend of hers, exactly like her and with a pea-sized brain to boot who ran away with her boyfriend after getting a registered marriage done. I just wanted to be rid of them and one fine glorious day, that happened too! :-D she just upped and left the room, leaving it free for W to move in ;) :)

3. Fall head over heels for someone who treats you like dirt.

Done. Dusted. I think everyone goes through this. At some point. For some time frame.

4. Let go of someone you’ve been holding onto.

Done. It definitely was hard but not impossible.

5. Have one night you’ll never forget and that you can’t remember.

They say drinking in your 20s is way different than drinking in your 30s or closer to 30s like these days for me. True that is! I am sure most of us have had all had that crazy night where we have gotten piss-drunk and not remembered one single incident but guaranteed that it will be one that you will never ever forget. However, at the end of it, you will realize that one - drinking is not that big a deal as its made out to be and two – you will most certainly learn your limits about how much you can handle and cannot. There will always be that one drink that you know is the threshold. Look out for it and drink sensibly.

6. Make a life changing mistake.

Made it. A big big one!! Bang right in the middle of the 20s. Could have been worse I suppose in retrospect. But what the heck! It happened. It’s over. And I am way over it.

7. Royally piss off your parents.

Yes! Done! Scores of times! But irrespective of whether they are pissed by my decision or whether they agree to it, fully or not, they have always stuck by my and let me have my own way and learn from my mistakes. :) Blessed that way!

8. Date.

Yep. Go out, meet people, have a wide circle, flirt some and enjoy it to the fullest. And always remember, the choice is yours! :-)

9. Go out to dinner by yourself.

Very very true! :). And while you are at it, go for a movie by yourself as well. Nothing is more exhilarating than these once in a while. I do this pretty often. Go to a nice place. Take a book along for company. Pretty awesome feel! :-)

10. Take a huge risk.

Taken and it’s paying off. ;-) Fingers crossed! :)

11. Move.

I did. Of course it was not a part of a plan. It just happened that I ended up in Singapore in 2009. And when I moved here, I didn’t have a job. But I couldn’t sit at home either. So I went out. A lot. In buses. And walks. Learnt the routes. Learnt the places. Hidden roads. Lonesome getaway places. And a few nooks and crannies that are part of my favorite places here. ;-) But now it’s been 4+ years and that itch has started again. Wanderlust is raking its head up.

12. Get a pet.

This is pending. I want to have a doggy at some point of time. 30s probably! :-)

13. Donate your college clothes.

Of this I am glad. I don’t ever want to go back to my college clothes. Nope. Much better off now and much better taste now as well. Even if no one else vouches for it. But I still hold on to a few things from the “college-phase” that i am unable to let go off … you can’t imagine how comfortable these are! :P

14. Figure yourself out.

On a totally selfish note, I am taking my own sweet time with this. Doing what I want, the way I want and at the pace I want. Simple pleasures. :-)

15. Exercise.

To me, that just translates to Dance. ;-)

16. Pig out on junk food.

Did it for so long that I got appendicitis at the end of it. :P Still pig out on junk food from time to time though ;) especially at midnight… food tastes loads better when its midnight-binging!!!

17. Watch the news.

Keep yourself updated on what’s happening around the world at least not to look like an idiot when someone is talking about it. And I mean it. I will let you in on a little secret. I am/was curious by nature. But before I joined for my MBA, I wasn’t too bothered about what was happening around me in the world. I was in a sheltered cocoon and I was happy there. Until I got embarrassed to boot by a classmate… that really kick-started it. And now funnily enough, I crave for information in all forms. Curiosity is now my middle name and asking questions is second nature. I guess somewhere I must really thank him for that push!!

18. Keep your resume updated. Just do it.

You never really know when you might need it. The current job that I have is my third one this year. So best case, be prepared... You don’t really know what opportunity might come in when.. :)

19. Work your ass off.

The lure of your own money, the means to blow it up as you please, and also the taste of the independence that comes along with this …. :-) but keep this in mind! Considering that you are going to be spending more than 1/3^rd of your day at the office, ensure that you enjoy what you are doing!! :P  no point otherwise, spending half your lifetime, at a job that you don’t enjoy and gives you the ulcers.

20. Enjoy it.

This time, this decade… you aren’t ever going to get it back. You will of course have other things to be happy and be thankful for in your teenage and your 30s and 40s etc… but this time, this decade is all about you! YOU YOU and more YOU! So enjoy it. Live it to the fullest.

Have loads of new experiences; learn to revel in the taste and the after-taste of those experiences, so that when you come across them later on in life, you know what you have to do with them! Embrace or steer clear of them! :)

Travel. Widen those horizons. At the risk of sounding preachy and clichéd, nothing gives you a sense and value of the things that you have in your life and things that you may take for granted, when you are shaken out of that comfort zone. Live it up. Rough it out. Trust me, you will enjoy it. You have enough time in the upcoming years to be comfortable and be predictable. This is the time to be impulsive and take chances. Be spontaneous, but also be safe and wise when it comes to taking those chances ;-)

Flirt, fall in love, get your heart broken, break someone’s heart, and learn to differentiate between those voices in the head and the ones from the heart. Listen to the one you feel is right. And always always always go with your gut feeling. If you’re unsure, wait until you are sure about it. You have all the time in the world. It’s your life and you are the master of it.

Experience life to the fullest. Not just in your 20s.

But as long as that thing inside of you keeps pumping life into you… :-)

Glad to be a Woman!

You call her Braveheart, Amanat, Damini, Nirbhaya.

You admire her fighting spirit and courage.

You call her the Nations daughter.

You give up celebrating New Years because you say you are grieving for her.

You say you won’t disclose her name to the public for fear of shame, stigma, or protests by people over that.

You grieve with her family. You compensate them monetarily for their loss.

You announce that you will bring in new laws to reform this.

You show outrage at this act. You say that you are seething with fury. You condemn it. You hold candle-lit vigils.You conduct peace marches. You sympathise. You empathise. You preach that this will change.

Words like Capital Punishment, Death Penalty, Chemical Castration, Lifetime Imprisonment, Amendments to the Rape Act, all get bandied about.

And yet, nothing happens.

NOTHING. EVER. HAPPENS.

And anyone who even starts a change will be subdued until they are in a minority.

And yet again, this girl’s death will just become another statistic.

And these words will just remain that. WORDS.

And the country will continue to function like how it always does.

I am sorry; am I sounding too cynical? Too matter-of-fact?

Does that bother you?

Can you really blame me for it?

Just a few days after an entire nation’s protest, shock and outrage at this ghastly act, I read about another girl who was molested again in a moving bus again in Delhi. I read that a woman who was raped, went to the police station to file a complaint and she was raped there again. I read that a girl was being molested by her own brother for 3 years until she reported it.

And we are a country that says that we celebrate our women. Why, we say that our country IS a woman, and we call her Bharata Mata. Mother India.

Really!! Wow!! Now if that’s not an ignominy, I don’t know what is!!!

It’s my helplessness that’s making me write this. I seethe with fury every time I read about another act of violation of a woman’s dignity; much like anyone other girl. I feel that cold rage sweep over me every time I feel a man’s eyes wrongly on me; much like any other girl.

And yet I am helpless.

Because it has been drilled into me by every single person during my formative years that I AM A GIRL. That I am not supposed to wear that. That I am not supposed to go here. That I am not supposed to go alone. That I am not supposed to walk like this. That I shouldn’t attract attention to myself. I did ask questions. I did retort back. I did say that I can take care of myself. I rebelled in the ways that I knew. And yet, when I stepped out there, onto the roads, I knew they were right. It is a JUNGLE out there. Ages don’t matter. Looks don’t matter. What you wear does not matter. What matters is that you are a GIRL. That you are a member of the opposite sex. That you can be looked at, felt up, groped at, pinched, prodded, cupped, pushed and shoved just because you are a female. And that it doesn’t cease. At any time. Day or night. Indoors or Outdoors.

After a while, the questioning stops but the fear doesn’t. And in the place of those questions, other traits came up.

The survival instinct. The sixth sense that tells you when a man is getting too close for comfort. The strategic cover-up that happens when you know that a man’s looking where he is not supposed to. Of how to hide from roving eyes. Of what to do with sharp heels in a crowded places. Of how to use safety pins for in crowded buses. Of how to use the elbow jab when pushing through a crowd.

It’s a fight every day. And it’s never ending.

Yes! I am scared. But more than that, I am proud of the fact that I am a female. That I am a woman. I celebrate the fact that I was born a GIRL. And how much ever I lament the fact that guys have it easier than girls, I would never give up being a woman for anything.

Because how much ever men call us the weaker sex, we are really the stronger sex. Ask a guy to walk in our shoes for just one single day and they will know what stern stuff we are made of.

And the best and worst part of it is that, they are the ones who made us this way.

Twisted Irony!!

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This post also appeared here -- http://www.glad2bawoman.com/empowerment/you-speak/glad-be-woman and here -- http://pravasiexpress.com/index.php?desktop=&article=351  

I am a GIRL.. and I am tired of fighting!!!

There’s a guy walking towards me.

Do I look straight and walk? Do I look down and walk? Is my dress too tight? Is my dress too loose? Am I revealing too much? Am I covered enough? If I look up at him and walk, will he take that to be an advance? Is my facial expression impassive enough? How does he see me as? What does he see me as?

There’s a guy in the train who is standing next to me.

Do I look at him? Do I look elsewhere and conspicuously not look at him? Am I standing properly? Am I sitting properly? Is there enough distance between us as demanded by “society”?

There’s a guy I just got introduced to.  

If I am friendly, will he think I am interested in him? If I am aloof will he think I am spurning him? Is he okay with my opinion on the topic that we are discussing? Is that a sore point if I don’t agree with him? If I do agree with him, will he think I am easy? If I am liberal with my opinions does that make him look at me as open-minded about everything? If I am too reserved with my opinions does that make me a pushover? If I hang out with a lot of guys, does that make me a slut? If I hang out with a lot of girls, does that make me homely? If I use a lot of swear words, is that too much against his “image-of-a-well-bred-woman”? Will these anger him? Will he react adversely?

There’s a crowded place.

Things to keep in mind – Keep hands folded across my front. Cover all possible skin that shows. Hold firmly to the male family member accompanying me. Don’t look up at anyone. Keep the gaze lowered. Don’t smile. Keep expression deadpan. 

I am 28 years old. I have been this way ever since I turned 13.

Outwardly I may be confident, uber-smart and even fearless.

Inside I am sceptical, confused and scared thinking any one of my actions may go against me anytime for no fault of mine except for the biggest one.

I am a GIRL.

And you say we ask for equality?!!?!?!

I pooh-pooh my mom every time she asks me to be careful and inform her where I am every single time I am out, with whom I am with and how many of us are there. This, when I am living in a country where it is deemed safe for anyone to be out at any time of the day or night!!

To be fair, I see where her fear stems from.  After all she is still living in a country where if even if you are fully covered all the time, you are still at threat of being abused. In fact anything you say or do or wear can be used against you, anytime, anywhere, for it may well be a signal for someone to advance. Irrespective of anything.

Because I am a GIRL.

And I am tired of fighting.

I am tired of fighting against groping hands, hot breath down my neck, slimy fingers, brushing of the elbow, pushing against the crowd, random pinches, dashes against my breasts, provocative stares, lewd comments and rough force.

And no this is not just about me. This is about every single one of my sex.

Treat us with a little respect. Treat us with a little dignity. Treat us as humans.

That’s all we ask!

“Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved” – Author Unknown!!

And with all due sarcasm, a great job is being done of it!!!