Oh boy! One thing? I have plenty! Why stop at one?
Considering, my teenage was about a decade and half back, which sounds ages back, when you think about it, there are so many things that I would like to tell my younger self. I did that once, a long time back, a tag I think! This one, here!
But let me do this the right way!
Dear Younger ME,
Hi! This is your older, and hopefully more self-assured self, writing to you from the future! I know, Right! BAM! From the future, yes!
So, there are a couple of things I wanted to tell you, so that you could prepare yourself for what’s coming your way. Scared much? Don’t be! It’s nothing radical or out of the box, okay maybe 1-2 things are radical! But I’ll prepare you for it. Not to worry.
The first thing I would like to tell you is stop ‘going with the flow’. Seriously, stop it right now! Stop doing it and stop saying it. There is no such thing really! ‘Going with the flow’ is a term that some jobless fellow concocted somewhere so that people like us use it and feel all self-important. You will never ever go along with the flow, how much ever you say you are! Heck! I am still not going with the flow, much as I say I am! So, don’t say it, don’t think it, don’t do it. Right! Ok? Ok.
The second one is, control your temper. This one, I don’t really need to tell you because you will learn it yourself, no not the hard way, but as part of your self-realization. But I am saying, just in case!
The next thing is, please start practicing a better dress sense. I mean, yes, I know, you think of yourself as a tomboy and you have that don’t-care attitude when it comes to clothes going under the norm of comfort-over-style but trust me, you can be comfortable and stylish at the same time. Yep! That can happen! Note to self - Straight-cut jeans do not become you. They make you look even more boyish, if that is imaginable. And stop wearing collared tee-shirts. You are a tomboy. Not a boy. Add more colours into your wardrobe; black and greys are not the only colours you see. And if it’s possible, try to start liking the colour PINK. You’ll be surrounded by it at one point in the future. And also, learn how to drape a saree, much before you are thrust into the unfavourable situation of looking at a YouTube video and learning. You have a much better teacher at home – our mother! Oh, and while you are it, why not just get a full wardrobe makeover? Okay! I think I have said whatever I have wanted to, on this subject. This one is never going to happen! I know! Fashion disaster that I am! :-/
Coming to the serious stuff, there are going to be times in the future, when you will feel like you are breaking down, mentally, physically and psychologically. No, you are not a loony-bin and you won’t ever become one – at least until you are 32. See what I did there ;-). You will have plenty of good times outweighing the bad, but these struggle periods while they are far and between, will be extremely trying, for you as well as for the people surrounding you, thanks to the pig-headedness that is a part of your character. I just want to tell you, it’s not a bad thing to give in, and accept failure at times. Put aside that ego. Put aside the thought of being a failure. It’s really not such a bad thing to accept that you are a failure in some things. Take multiple stabs at it, put in your effort and if it works, well and good, if it doesn’t, never mind, there will be a reason for why it didn’t work even after all the effort. People will say stuff, like this was not enough effort and this isn’t how things are done and all such sort of nonsense, don’t take it to heart. They are not the ones dealing with it. YOU ARE! And, you know your threshold, the best! Lots of things will happen during your 20s. In your case, they will be the tumultuous twenties. Don’t give up, even when you feel like doing so. Appa, Amma and Achu will be there all along the way with you, supporting you and keeping you together. You’ll lose people you thought were going to be with you for the rest of your life, you will learn what it means to be without having anyone to confide in, and you will learn what loneliness is. But, you will also learn how to be more independent, and find people that you can be as sure of as you are of yourself, and most importantly, YOU WILL GROW and learn that being alone is not really such a tough thing! Hell, after a point you will start craving for this solitude at times. I am not telling this to scare you or to put you in a spot. These are things that happen pretty commonly, which you will learn soon, I am telling you this because, the sooner you learn to accept things quickly, the better life will become.
Oh also, before I forget, you have a penchant for drama. No, by that I don’t mean that you do drama in the future (I know you are a drama-queen NOW!!), but that you will attract drama like nobody’s business. But then this is pretty normal too! Everyone deals with drama all the time. Some, a little more than others. I don’t have to really tell you which category you fall into. Even if you don’t like it, deal with it. Learn to handle it. Word of caution – don’t try to avoid it. It will find you and you will have to tolerate it. Don’t worry, it’s not going to be that bad!
I think this has already turned into a long enough letter. Ultimately what I really want to say is this. You are a strong girl, no, not physically. You know what I mean! Mostly I think it is your stubbornness that gets you through. But, there is no denying the fact that it takes a lot to break you and this is something that you should be proud of. This is one of those things that will define your individuality and the person you are or rather will be. You’ll learn it as you go. See, the thing is, everyone is different, everyone has their own set of competencies. As do you. So, don’t lose heart and don’t try to become someone you are not. People who like you and want to be with you, will do so because of whoever you are. Don’t fret too much about it.
Be who you are and try to better yourself at that. At the end of the day, the competition and the comparison is going to be with just yourself.
I am really really proud of where we are and the journey that has been till now! It’s been a good ride so far and from here on, I hope it is as awesome as it can possibly be! :) :)
Take care, love you.