U r damned if u do... U r damned if u don't...

Friday, December 14, 2007

She looked around at the room she was in. So many familiar faces yet not one that she could spill her heart out to. She looked down at the new flip phone that she had bought recently. Opened it to find the address book and scrolled down the contacts. At least a 100 of them. Yet not a single person could she find to open up to.

Helpless. Frustrated. Vulnerable. Discouraged.

Who could she talk to? To whom could she spill out those umpteen things that were threatening to swallow her.. one person whom she could look up to, not say a word but just wait for those tears that were ominously threatening to engulf her, hug them and just shed copiously into their shoulder… someone who would just understand her silence, not say a word but just lend a shoulder for her to cry on and a ear to listen to her …

So many friends, acquaintances, well-wishers, people who sincerely cared for her.. And yet not one person she could trust with the things that were going on in her head…

They might call her crazy.. Loony.. Idiotic.. Silly..!! They would say that she had so many people that she could rely on, to trust them with the things that were killing her from deep within..!!!

Hmmm.. SHE HAD PEOPLE!! She had friends that she could talk to..!! But would they understand or ridicule her saying that all this is rubbish?!?!?!!?

Once upon a time she had friends… people she could turn to in the blink of an eye to confide in them and to take their advice… people who she thought she could turn to in strife… but well… nothing lasts forever…!! All that just vanished in a jiffy.. Judgments, conclusions, assumptions and the like…!!

One wrong step according to them and there you go..!! Out of their lives… out of their circle.. You almost end up being treated like a pariah..!! They treated you with kid gloves till now and suddenly you are a traitor… Life’s little lessons!!! How bitter they are…

She committed a crime.. A crime at least half the people she knew had committed.. Some more than once..!! And still…. She gets branded… she gets all the adjectives, - rash, immature, weird, thoughtless, - “wonderful” adjectives for her already “wonderful” personality… Nice!

Is she as rash as they say she is?? Is she as immature as people think she is?? Does she not know what is right and what is wrong for her?? Or is she such an idiot that she would do something deliberately to jeopardize her own life..!! :-s why would she do that? Had 23 years of her life taught her nothing?? If she asks someone’s opinion on something – be it anything – that’s a fault! If she does not that’s yet again a fault..!
What a life..!!

U r damned if you do and you are damned if you don’t…

(to be contd.)





1 comment:

  1. Hey watch out !!! i can c dat glimpse of depression n dejection i was talkin about!!! Bt m sure its jst a passin thot n u knw a art of pulling urself bk into d merry wrld of thins!!! Bt d evident feel n touch of realism in dis particular write up, i cud relate 2 seems really appealing.

    Congrats!! U r maturing in ur writing style..bt i hope u can keep d pain n bitterness dat comes along,at bay.

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