Crack-up in flights!!!

Friday, July 18, 2008

This is too good!!!


Crack up in flight...!! Brilliant answers! :-)


It takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

(By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

__________________________________________________________


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

__________________________________________________________


P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

__________________________________________________________


P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

__________________________________________________________


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

__________________________________________________________


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

__________________________________________________________


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

__________________________________________________________


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

__________________________________________________________


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

__________________________________________________________


P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

__________________________________________________________


P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

__________________________________________________________


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

__________________________________________________________


P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

__________________________________________________________


P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

__________________________________________________________


And the best one for last..................



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

__________________________________________________________

6 comments:

  1. Kutti the Critic.. :-)Saturday, July 19, 2008

    Boring!!!!!!!!! Write something with substance which u have done earlier..

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Kutti the critic --> Thanks for the comment! will try my best to keep writing good stuff..! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. hehehe to kutti the critic...
    1. first of all don show ur face here f u don wanna read wats written...
    2. f u do, then don blame the blogs...these blogs were not made for u if they were they d have ur silly name on it...
    and lastly but trust me not leastly...f u have a genuine point throw it in..or save up comments like these for ur own blog...will work wonders for u f u have one...at all..!!!
    and the kid was asking for help in topix...not stupid comments...

    ReplyDelete
  4. i guess they read your blog. A Qantas flight had an emergency landing on Friday, with a HUGE crack on its undercarriage !
    :P

    ReplyDelete

 
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