Flash of thunder… Lightning struck.. And then it rained…

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Thud…Thud...Thud… Flutter…Thud…Thud…Thud…Flutter…

That’s my heart… beating madly like a caged bird…

I saw HIM again today… near the lifts…

Weak knees…rainbow in the horizon…music in my ears…

And I still do not understand why I go to pieces like this when I see HIM… I don’t know him from Adam… I don’t know which unit in my office he works for… I don’t know whether he is married/single/gay/bi or god-knows-what!!! But he looks so cute…

I still remember the first time I saw HIM in the cafeteria with a girl … Irony… I guessed they were going around… In spite of my thoughts, they looked good together… like the perfect couple… you know, like those dolls of the bride and groom on the wedding cake… I wanted to smash it!!! Cake and all… this was the scene for a couple of episodes more and the guy never even glanced at me… It was like I never even existed in that world of his… And then as suddenly as they appeared, the couple disappeared… it was just HIM now…

Wondered for a couple of days as to where the girl went… did she go off on an onsite assignment? Maybe she got married (high hopes!)?? Maybe she got a new job (good riddance!)?? … Then I stopped thinking about her disappearance … after all I had better things to think of… Courtesy HIM. :-)

I did not understand why I was behaving like a silly teenager… It was not like I was seeing a guy for the first time… God knew that I have seen enough in my life so far… My knees literally went weak when I saw him… my heart went on a rampage… thoughts of him – us filled my head… and still I did not have the courage to talk to him, to muster even a smile, to say hi and get talking… Nopes! I got cold feet… Me who has always been an extrovert… Me who never found it hard to get a conversation started… it all kind of got lost in his dimples..!!!

I kept seeing him, bumping into him in the cafeteria or on his floor where we used to go for coffee… not that we did not have a coffee vending machine in our floor… the floor below gave us more privacy to bitch about our work … but I am going off on a tangent now.. Away from the topic… I kept seeing him once in a while… random appearances… he never once looked at me… or even if he did, he averts his eyes quickly, as though someone will admonish him… Silly guy!!

Then one day, he gave me a weird look so as to say “I know what you are thinking…And it’s never going to happen!!!” Almost as if he was thinking of me in a very sarcastic, arrogant manner… like he was Greek God Adonis or something… Almost as if I never would ever exist for him even if I was at my alluring best!!

And poof! There it went… thanks to that male egoistic superiority complex riddled fool…
Ok, that’s just my assumption as to what he thought… but it was quite a weird look… and anyways maybe it’s an excuse for me to not give him or his thoughts time of the day… and there it all ended… even before it started…

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