You know… sometimes I feel like I did a big mistake with this blog…
Like I write a truthful but carefully edited version… or like I am trying to please all and sundry about what I am writing in the blog… or that which I am going to write…
Before I even put something in as a post, it goes through a zillion edits… cut this word out… change this word... Don’t put in that sentence… what would he/she think if they read your blog and found out you said this about them… oops… that would be a big blunder…
More often than not, I come across stuff that I really want to write in my blog about… incidents that have happened in my life… stuff that I would like to warn other people from not doing… a stray occurrence here… an event there… and this happens almost every day… millions of moments that I find.. Zillions of stuff that I read about… hundreds of instances that I want to pen… scores of people I want to write about… but the editing process begins again..! I wonder why..!! I mean why can’t I write about people the way they are… why can’t I write about my life and what has happened with me in the way I want to… why can’t I write about something the way I think of it in my mind without even bringing that hated word ‘change’ into it??
Okie it is definitely not like I have to ask someone’s permission before I post something about anything. I don’t need to… it’s my blog and I will do what I want with it… I mean I can do what I want with it right… so when did I start thinking about what other people would think if I posted something on a particular topic… I have always believed that I am the kind of person who calls a spade a spade... yeah I might have compromised a lot of times, watched my mouth, and not said what I was thinking… but most times if it is not someone whom I care about then I shoot off my mouth and I do not regret it…
I guess mainly I change/edit stuff ‘coz I am thinking about the way people would judge me… and god knows I have had enough ‘judgment days’ in the recent past… I do not need another person’s mumbled-under-his-breath curse to wreck havoc in my already fun-filled life… but then that means I am compromising… oh god..!! This is driving me nuts… and that too in circles...
I write about a lot of stuff in my blog… or rather I have written… about myself… my family… stories I cook up in my head… reviews of films and books… issues that have concerned me and all of that… and all of them a carefully edited version of whether it would find public acceptance… Okie more often than not… It’s highly frustrating… because I change it ‘coz I know there are going to be people reading it who will be making a judgment about me … about the way I am… and about how my thoughts and views are… and what not…
I wish that I could be as carefree as a bird and say that I do not care… but the truth is that I do care… but sometimes it just irritates me to no end that I have to think and put in carefully-worded sentences in my post without trying to offend anyone… well…. Maybe it’s time I closed this blog and started one on a fresh note…! :-)… some posts of course I would keep… but I would miss the comments for sure... :P… have had some very interesting comments and conversations through my blog…
Will surely let you guys know if I decide to start afresh…
Till then… adios…
PS: I did not edit even one word of this while typing and I am proud of myself... :-)
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On another note, there is an unsaid, unwritten rule in blogworld. Whats written here should be settled here. So I never encourage any talks about my blogs, elsewhere, though all my close buddies read my scribblings. In the realworld, its as though, we had never met in the blogworld. Follow this policy, and things should be better. But in the end, the call is yours (mobile il alla :D)
Ouseppachan style il oru thumbs up um all the best um :P