Its a long story....

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

She leaned back in her chair.

The antique vintage clock on the wall showed the time as ten minutes past the witching hour.

A low humming she discerned to be her own voice … “Happy birthday to me!!! Happy Birthday… Happy Birthday to me… May God bless me…!”

Stop!…

God Bless her??? Why would She?? What reason did She have to bless her? Much rather that she would be punished… or maybe the fact that she was standing there all alone on her birthday was proof enough that God had punished her!!!

Funny she had thought of God as a SHE… probably her feminism streak was influencing even the unquestioned and unanswered…

She slackened her neck muscles and looked out on to the surroundings bathed in the silvery moonlight… She was working late… today as well… From her room at the office the view was mesmerizing! It more or less reminded her of her roots… the ways God found to keep one grounded in their life!!! Every time she looked out at the sun setting, a golden ball in the far horizon, it reminded her of a great majestic power coming to a rest…. Was there something symbolic in that as well??? She looked around at the room she was standing in… a huge oval shaped room, with plush carpeting on the floors, regal chairs for the professional visitors to sit, a high-backed swiveling chair for her to get from one end of the table to the other end, almost like a mile away… a huge mahogany table fitted with the state-of-art system for her to efficiently conduct her meetings… lush, soft sofas for her to entertain the more important clients… what not! She was after all the most privileged employee of the company… the one who got them their most influential clients… one of the high level leaders who had the rights to hire and fire anyone… that was influential!! A sardonic smile played on her lips!!

She thought back to over the years when she had joined the organization… a young, carefree, blithe girl… she had grown leaps and bounds in this past decade…from a regular as like everyone else team member to a high-ranking, prominent individual… as per the company’s growth curve she was on fast track… her nickname around this place and in circles she moved in was ‘Dark Horse’…

She had proved all of them wrong... all her detractors… all her critics, even the cynical ones! They said she was na├»ve and inexperienced …. That she did not understand the rules of the corporate world… that she was subservient where she ought to be and aggressive where she needed to be… Wrong weren’t they about her?? Mistaken?? She felt a giggle rise all the way up her throat and threaten to break free into a guffaw… she suppressed the feeling and tried to focus on the job at hand…
Thoughts strayed… Views drifted… Outlooks differed…

She had done nothing out of hand or behind anyone’s back…
It was her honest work that spoke for itself and got her to where she was… but now look at her! Look at her state!

She had given up too much in order to get where she was… when she compared herself with the past person she was, she found that she preferred the past to the present caricature… the person she was had so much more than the person she is…

Her family, her friends, her love, everything that she held meaningful and potent in the past was lost to her… not lost in the true sense of the word… more so detached than anything else.. She never had the time or the inclination to keep up with precedent relationships over the past and soon slowly they had drifted away from her… she used to keep reminding herself that she should call, visit, meet up with friends and folks but somehow the frenetic pace of the world that she was a part of now did allow her that leeway… not that she could not have not done anything about it. She was the one who chose not to! She was the one who decided which world held more priority and which did not… it was her CHOICE at the end…

Her cell phone suddenly rang!!

A jarring sound distorting the finely woven threads of silence that she had enveloped herself in… she wondered who it could be at this late hour!

Maybe someone remembered… maybe she was in someone’s thoughts after all… God knew they were all in hers… Everyone whom she held close to her heart were still in hers…

Her mind skimmed through the people she thought might be calling her now… was it her mom/dad? Maybe her bro? Or hold on was it Him??? Had he decided to forgive her???

In that single flash of a few seconds, her mind went back to that day when she had met Him last… the day it had ended and started at the same time… she had gone to speak her heart out with him but somehow it was Him who spoke that day… everything that he had ever held inside him for all those years, he spewed out everything and that too in no uncertain terms…. In a sense, she had missed the bus! And along with the bus Him too….

She looked down at her phone to see who was calling… an unknown number…

She picked it up warily… muttered “hello” into it…

“Happy Birthday to You… Happy Birthday to you… happy birthday to you… may God bless you… May God bless you dear!! Happy birthday to you…”

That voice… It sent shivers down her spine, tingles through her arms…

It was HIM…

She guardedly said “thank you”…

He was the same… exuberant, cheerful with a happy disposition as she remembered … never had he not crossed her thoughts each day… every waking minute she thought of him and how she had hurt him…

She spoke to him. Decided on plans to meet and talk the next day.

She smiled to herself… an expression that she had not caught sight on her face for a long time…

The silver lining in her cloud had finally shone through...

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