When I’m in pain — physical or emotional — the kindest thing I can do for myself is…

Hmm! That is an unusual prompt. I don’t think I have ever written openly about pain on this blog! I have made the odd references to it on and off but more or less, I try avoiding and speaking about it. Exactly the same kind of thing when I am going through it as well.

The one thing I do when I am going through physical pain (and that used to be a lot considering how clumsy I was!), I turn into a weepy sort especially when I am talking to the folks back home! :P You know, missing home and such :) I get all teared up when I am speaking to Amma or Appa when I am physically sick! At that point, all I really want to do, is just curl up near them and have them soothe and cuddle me.

As for the emotional pain, it’s a whole other gamut. Usually I end up thinking about it so much, make up imaginary scenarios in my head, give myself a migraine and end up heading to sleep. If it’s not too much of an emotional upheaval, I try distract myself and read myself to sleep. Either ways, sleep is a constant. I always believe that sleeping it off helps to alleviate all pain.

There have been times, when I have been so down and out physically, that I have had to have friends doing everything for me. I am truly blessed that way to have friends like family. However, when I torment myself emotionally, I usually try and have my space. I don’t really like talking about pain. I avoid it, I distract myself.

And now let’s move onto some happier things please!! Shall we? :)

If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is…

Oh boy! One thing? I have plenty! Why stop at one?

Considering, my teenage was about a decade and half back, which sounds ages back, when you think about it, there are so many things that I would like to tell my younger self. I did that once, a long time back, a tag I think! This one, here!

But let me do this the right way!

Dear Younger ME,

Hi! This is your older, and hopefully more self-assured self, writing to you from the future! I know, Right! BAM! From the future, yes!

So, there are a couple of things I wanted to tell you, so that you could prepare yourself for what’s coming your way. Scared much? Don’t be! It’s nothing radical or out of the box, okay maybe 1-2 things are radical! But I’ll prepare you for it. Not to worry.

The first thing I would like to tell you is stop ‘going with the flow’. Seriously, stop it right now! Stop doing it and stop saying it. There is no such thing really! ‘Going with the flow’ is a term that some jobless fellow concocted somewhere so that people like us use it and feel all self-important. You will never ever go along with the flow, how much ever you say you are! Heck! I am still not going with the flow, much as I say I am! So, don’t say it, don’t think it, don’t do it. Right! Ok? Ok.

The second one is, control your temper. This one, I don’t really need to tell you because you will learn it yourself, no not the hard way, but as part of your self-realization. But I am saying, just in case!

The next thing is, please start practicing a better dress sense. I mean, yes, I know, you think of yourself as a tomboy and you have that don’t-care attitude when it comes to clothes going under the norm of comfort-over-style but trust me, you can be comfortable and stylish at the same time. Yep! That can happen! Note to self - Straight-cut jeans do not become you. They make you look even more boyish, if that is imaginable. And stop wearing collared tee-shirts. You are a tomboy. Not a boy. Add more colours into your wardrobe; black and greys are not the only colours you see. And if it’s possible, try to start liking the colour PINK. You’ll be surrounded by it at one point in the future. And also, learn how to drape a saree, much before you are thrust into the unfavourable situation of looking at a YouTube video and learning. You have a much better teacher at home – our mother! Oh, and while you are it, why not just get a full wardrobe makeover? Okay! I think I have said whatever I have wanted to, on this subject. This one is never going to happen! I know! Fashion disaster that I am! :-/

Coming to the serious stuff, there are going to be times in the future, when you will feel like you are breaking down, mentally, physically and psychologically. No, you are not a loony-bin and you won’t ever become one – at least until you are 32. See what I did there ;-). You will have plenty of good times outweighing the bad, but these struggle periods while they are far and between, will be extremely trying, for you as well as for the people surrounding you, thanks to the pig-headedness that is a part of your character. I just want to tell you, it’s not a bad thing to give in, and accept failure at times. Put aside that ego. Put aside the thought of being a failure. It’s really not such a bad thing to accept that you are a failure in some things. Take multiple stabs at it, put in your effort and if it works, well and good, if it doesn’t, never mind, there will be a reason for why it didn’t work even after all the effort. People will say stuff, like this was not enough effort and this isn’t how things are done and all such sort of nonsense, don’t take it to heart. They are not the ones dealing with it. YOU ARE! And, you know your threshold, the best! Lots of things will happen during your 20s. In your case, they will be the tumultuous twenties. Don’t give up, even when you feel like doing so. Appa, Amma and Achu will be there all along the way with you, supporting you and keeping you together. You’ll lose people you thought were going to be with you for the rest of your life, you will learn what it means to be without having anyone to confide in, and you will learn what loneliness is. But, you will also learn how to be more independent, and find people that you can be as sure of as you are of yourself, and most importantly, YOU WILL GROW and learn that being alone is not really such a tough thing! Hell, after a point you will start craving for this solitude at times. I am not telling this to scare you or to put you in a spot. These are things that happen pretty commonly, which you will learn soon, I am telling you this because, the sooner you learn to accept things quickly, the better life will become.

Oh also, before I forget, you have a penchant for drama. No, by that I don’t mean that you do drama in the future (I know you are a drama-queen NOW!!), but that you will attract drama like nobody’s business. But then this is pretty normal too! Everyone deals with drama all the time. Some, a little more than others. I don’t have to really tell you which category you fall into. Even if you don’t like it, deal with it. Learn to handle it. Word of caution – don’t try to avoid it. It will find you and you will have to tolerate it. Don’t worry, it’s not going to be that bad!

I think this has already turned into a long enough letter. Ultimately what I really want to say is this. You are a strong girl, no, not physically. You know what I mean! Mostly I think it is your stubbornness that gets you through. But, there is no denying the fact that it takes a lot to break you and this is something that you should be proud of. This is one of those things that will define your individuality and the person you are or rather will be. You’ll learn it as you go. See, the thing is, everyone is different, everyone has their own set of competencies. As do you. So, don’t lose heart and don’t try to become someone you are not. People who like you and want to be with you, will do so because of whoever you are. Don’t fret too much about it.

Be who you are and try to better yourself at that. At the end of the day, the competition and the comparison is going to be with just yourself.

I am really really proud of where we are and the journey that has been till now! It’s been a good ride so far and from here on, I hope it is as awesome as it can possibly be! :) :) 

Take care, love you. 

ME! 

30 things that make me smile! :) :)

I like today’s prompt … it makes me feel all nice, warm and fuzzy when I think about these things and trust me it was no easy task to think up of things that would make me smile… I am sure I would have a lot more if I dredge up the energy to think, but some of these materialistic and not-so-materialistic things should do for now…

And therefore, in no particular order ...

“Traditions that I have formed or those that have been followed for ages at home. Going back home for a vacation and checking out each nook, cranny and corner for familiar smells and things. Black and white photographs. Random hugs from the back. Dancing and sweating it out and having an ‘endorphin’ high! A very well made cup of coffee with just the right amount of milk and very little sugar. Drizzles on the face while taking long walks. Songs, places, things that bring back bitter-sweet memories. Surprises when you least expect it. A long road trip. Bike rides or car drives where the window is open and the breeze is on your face bringing with it those stray droplets. The smell of old books. Road-side tea and samosas. Visiting temples just in time to see the deeparadhanai and listening to the legends of what made these temples special. The smell of chembakam flowers that brings back memories of Kalam and elaneer! Soft cotton sarees which fall just-so-right. Vatthakozhambu and potato fry. Babies and that baby smell that pervades the room when they are around. Sunsets and sunrises (whenever I get a chance). Subtle word plays. A good book that keeps me thinking about it for the next couple of hours or days. Walking barefoot on morning dew filled grass! Early morning quiet. Big furry dogs. Adventure sports and the high that comes with it. A feel-good movie or a well-choreographed dance performance or a well-sung song! Unexpected compliments. Traveling to a new place, soaking in the sights and the culture. Decade old friendships and the memories associated with them. 

A post well-written.”

Three Good Things

I have been asked to write about three good things today.

I don’t really know, what context they mean here, but as always, I’d like to write about the top three good things in my life.

# 1 – The Perfect Support System - FAMILY

I know I have talked plenty about my family over posts in the blog, but I don’t really know if I have said this. My parents have always been more my friends than parents. When me and Achu crossed our teenage years, Appa and Amma took a step back from being parents and started gelling with us more as friends. So, until this day, our dining table conversations are peppered with an all-inclusive set of topics, sometimes bordering on the inappropriate for the dinner table. :P Of course, they still do wring their hands in exasperation over the things their offspring end up doing, not listening to them. The parental force kicks on in full swing on and off during those times. ;) We have stuck by each other, all through the ups and downs and anything important I embark upon, like interviews, fresh starts, and new beginnings, I ensure that they are the last people I speak to. :)

# 2 – F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Enough has been written on this blog about the circle of friends I have as well. They say friends are the family you can choose and in that sense, while I have had a few hits and misses here and there, mostly, I have found the ones that will stick by me through apocalypses and ends of the world and it definitely is vice versa as well. When friendships span over years, you learn the minutest of things about each other, deal breakers, things that you don’t agree on, distances that exist only in time and not in mind. If you have surpassed all that and your friendship still has the same intensity as it always has been, pat yourselves on the back. It is extremely difficult to cross all bridges and get to where you are and still pick up from where you left the last time, with no awkwardness hanging in the air. The closest friends that I have in my life, I can probably count on one hand. These are the people who will take a bullet for me. And I’d gladly do so for them as well.

# 3 – Reading and Dancing.

I have my parents to be grateful for both of those, for inculcating in me these things that makes me, ME.

Some of my best memories are those of reading -  those wondrous afternoons of lying down on the huge cool floor in Kalam, turning pages and looking at pictures in those big hardbound books, smuggling the comic books inside textbooks and pretending to be studying, train journeys that start with pestering Appa to buy me a Champak or a Gokulam, Amma lugging big bags of second-hand books, Enid Blytons, Nancy Drews, Hardy Boys, from the old books shops in Coimbatore, my Manni’s library card that I appropriated and ended up not letting her pick up books, the second hand sales at Hyderabad, discovering flipkart and cash on delivery options and now the Kindle. So many books, so little time to read.  

I have my mom to be thankful for the passion I have for dance. She is the one who pushed me those early rainy mornings, to wake up and be ready for the thrice a week classes before school, for those endless waits during my practice sessions for performances, for encouraging me to choreograph on my own, for pushing me to limits, that I would never ever have imagined doing all alone. And you know what, all that cheering and trudging on, have paid off. Today whatever stamina that I have or that I endure is because of those years of training. Today, even if you ask me to go on dancing non-stop, I’d find conviction in myself to do that.

Dancing is my escape route - from the world, from sadness, from frustrations, from stress, from ‘when everything gets too much to handle’. Muscle memory they say, the way your feet start tapping when you hear familiar rhythms, the way your hands move and your eyes express themselves. In my head, I am always dancing, always choreographing. It’s my go-to option when I have tune out during those endless meetings, travel journeys with only music for company.

It’s like how Rumi said –

“Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free.”,

There! Those are my top 3 good things - What are yours? :)

When the mind goes a-wandering…

Sometimes I miss home. Mostly those days when I am feeling a bit under the weather and sick. But those are the times that I crave for Amma’s cuddle or Appa’s fretfulness at what might just be a headache.

Days when I am bogged down at work, or I feel unbelievable amounts of stress for no particular reason, my mind starts wandering. I reminisce about Kalam. About old childhood memories.

Have I told you about Kalam?

It was this large family home where I and Achu spent the better part of our childhood.  The house is no longer standing; we razed it down as it was getting difficult to maintain it, what with the termites and other small reptiles making it their home. But it was such a beautiful sprawling house. I make it a point to visit it every time I am at Palghat. A walk through the winding trails, through the bushes, an almost dry canal, into the rubber trees, and back to the base finishing off with an elaneer or two, is a standing practice these days. I have very fond memories of the place.

Appa’s Rajdoot bike parked in a corner.  Sargent our dog, who used to  make himself comfortable beside the bike.  Achu wearing my blue frock and coming down the stairs at Kalam.  Amma chasing us all around the house with books in one hand, trying to make us sit and study.  Ammamma holding a long stick in her hands, trying to hunt down the snake that appeared in the store-room amidst the dry coconut husks.  Sahadevan’s auto.  The Chembaka tree in front and the smell of the flowers. The Krishna idol that stands tall and the bench where Thatha used to sit.  The parrot cage hanging in front of the pillars outside with the cawing of the bird and me trying to teach the bird to sing / talk / repeat after me. Skinned knees from the trips down to the ‘parakulam’.  Amma wrapping me and Achu in one big towel after our baths.  The huge Aatukattil in the hall.  The cool floors inside where Thatha used to lie down in the afternoons and let us kids climb all over him.  The office rooms at the end of each side where chithappa and thatha sat doing their work.  The bell that Thatha jangled when he did the poojai.  The old bathrooms with their creaky taps.  The naripaarai where foxes used to come at night.  The attic where one had to crawl up a flight of stairs, almost like transporting us into a fabled other world.  The bats that used to be seen in the attic sometimes.  The granary inside the house where they used to store rice and other items.  The thair-kadayal that happened religiously every day.  The vadaams and koozhumaavu that Ammamma dried on the terrace.  The rubber sheets and the smokehouse.  The cowshed and the cows that grazed around.  The chakkai’s during the season. And the mambazhams. The elaneer that Sahadevan prised off the coconut trees. The bilvam leaves. The odds and ends, nooks and crannies, the water tanks. The rubber trees. The canal that ran by the side of it. The ball badminton ground. The Vishnu temple.

You know how they say; you never know value of what you have until you lose it?

Kalam for me is an example of that. Sometimes I wish the place was still there or that we had kept it and maintained it for what it was worth. 

I wish I was there now.

At Kalam. Or at least what’s left of it.  

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Translations: 

elaneer - tender coconut juice, chembaka - champak tree, aatukattil - traditional swinging bed, naripaarai - fox hillock (literal translation), thayir-kadayal - churning of the milk to get curd, chakkai - jackfruit, mambazham- mangoes, paarakulam - rock pond. 

2016 - a week gone by and a nice new shiny badge from BlogAdda :)

7 days down in 2016 and it has been an awesome week in 2016 so far. :)

Highlights of the week…

My New Years start was pretty darn good. Close Friends, Drizzles and the Fireworks. It’s a combination that cannot go wrong ever. :) Midnight wishes SG time with the family and friends who are as good as family and a temple visit on the evening of Jan 1^st rounded it all up very well. :) :)

Last working day at Bank of Singapore was a couple of days ago. When I joined BOS, I was, more or less to say, floundering. Not knowing what I was getting into, plus I was going through a shitty personal time as well back then. Three months into the job, I was ready to quit. Honestly. And then, my manager for the better parts of my BOS journey, convinced me otherwise. He told me to take a break, come back rejuvenated and then start all over again. I did that. And then there was no looking back. I can safely say that BOS was one helluva journey. I have dipped my hands into so many aspects of the team there and have had the opportunity to learn so much there. I think it has made me evolve into a better professional at the end of the day and for that I will always thank my manager at the beginning of my stint in BOS.

I’m right now at HOME SWEET HOME. :) It has been about 7 months since I have come here. The first few hours at home, I’m like this dog who goes around sniffing each and every corner trying to grasp and mark its territory, wondering what has changed and how much. :) There is definitely no place like home as they say. Forced double helpings of all kinds of yummy food, loot from Kalam (read jackfruits, coconuts, guavas and bananas) and the fact that I am not doing one single thing. I eat, laze, read, sleep and repeat.

But the highlight of this week has to be the fact that my last post, was picked up by the good folks at BlogAdda for their TangyTuesday Picks :) … First ever time that has ever happened… and the high!! WHOA!! :) They have given me a nice shiny badge that I have updated the post with and a cute write up on their site.. So Yaaaayyy!! :)

Check this out..

So that’s been my week peeps :)

How has yours been? :)

The traditional wrap-up post for 2015 - the year that was!!

And so, we are back with the traditional year-end post.

I love traditions. They make me feel secure, that everything is right with the world at that moment. Be it daily, monthly or those randomly regular ones, they make me feel contented. Like those temple visits on festival days, or how it always rains on Christmas Eve. New dresses for special occasions, midnight birthday wishes, Appa’s rituals before the Shiva poojai in the morning, Amma’s chanting of the Lalitha Sahasranamam, the good morning and goodnight messages, the messages that come checking up on you, asking if lunch was done or whether you have reached a particular place, the hugs, or the random ruffles on the hair. I take note of quite a few of these traditions. I derive my sense of stability and comfort from them. I wait for them with an anticipation that belies the nonchalance I portray. Even if one of them gets missed or is out of place, I get antsy. A little nervous, like something is going wrong.

This year-end wrap up is like that. The year does not feel complete without one of these on the blog. It is a tradition that has come up over the last couple of years. A sort of wind-down on the happenings of the year. A way of looking back over the year that has been and one that will herald the New Year into our midst. I cannot miss this for any reason. :) Something about this makes me feel good when I write. :)

This year, 2015, has been a good one. Lots of fun was had, many trips were done, a bucket list item was checked off, and a few wishes have come true... All in all, a DARN GOOD YEAR!

I am thankful for this year. It has been a while since I felt about a year like that. I cannot remember the last time that I was happy that a particular year has gone well. This year however, I am grateful and appreciative of whatever it has sent my way.

I gave up making New Year resolutions a few years back. I just do not have the tenacity to stick onto them. They feel a lot like rules and I for one am not too fond of rules. Therefore, I put them down as wishes, things that I would like to do. This year has been one that I have managed to complete most of whatever I wished for. As I stated in my previous blog, I travelled a lot this year. Memorable ones, out of which three were road trips, two were to destinations I had previously travelled to, but still were more fun than the last times and on top of my list is the one where I checked off a much-awaited thing off my bucket-list. Yes! I am talking about the bungee jump. You can see that I’m quite proud of it :P I also managed to read a lot this year, all thanks to the Kindle I was gifted. I completed my reading challenge of 24 books in a year, another achievement that I am quite proud of.

This year there have been more of the fun moments than lessons, for which I am thankful. It has been a year of acceptance, one of letting go. It has been a year of knowing that there are things outside my control, things that I cannot do anything about. This year the regrets have been fewer, the smiles a lot more.

My wish for 2016 is quite simple.

For the coming year, I hope for more of the madness, magic and only some of the mundane.

I hope for more of the journeys, more of fun and more of joy all around.

I hope and wish all of you, oodles of ecstasy, and masses of good health, heaps of wealth and truckloads of cheer all year around! :)

 I wish you all a wonderful year ahead, one where you live life to the fullest, one where you smile, look back and say, what a year it has been! :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR and MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU ;-)

Someday …

Someday I want to travel so much that I get tired of it. I want to soak in all that is there in the world, seek new experiences, and live to tell fantastic tales of and about the people in them. I want to visit all those temples that hold meaning for me, about the legends that shape them, take amazing photographs of them and write about them into a coffee table book that highlights their pristine and serene beauty. I want to climb a mountain and watch the sunrise in the distance. I want to take sips of tea from the thermos, sit, and revel in the beauty. I want to leave a small indication on top that I have been there. I want to shout out to the world from the high and feel the wind on my face.

Someday I want a place that I can call MY HOME. With the name etched on a wooden board outside, a little bell hanging by its side. A small cozy two-storied haven. Wild flowers growing around it. A small stream gushing by the side. At the foothills of a mountain maybe. Idyllic. Plenty of windows that let the fresh air flow in. A sky roof that lets the sunlight filter in and on which the pitter-patter of rains can be heard. Plenty of woodwork, and wrought-iron work. A well-quipped kitchenette and pantry. Cookbooks lining the island in the kitchen. . Plenty of nooks and corners. Minimalistic designs.

Someday I want to be with a person whom I can cozy up to near the fireplace on cold winter nights, maybe with a glass of steaming hot chocolate by the side. Someone whom I can just lie with my head on his shoulders watching the embers in the fire die down, talking about small things that may or may not matter. Maybe take in a movie together with fingers entwined, or just cuddle up within one blanket and fall asleep in front of the stonewalled fireplace.

Someday I want to have kids, who will scribble on the walls, make me yell at them, or cajole me into joining them on that. With whom I can work on school projects with, make clay models, have them potter around behind my back, asking me a zillion questions about the what and why of everything.

Someday I want to have a dog. A Lab that gambols around and answers to Sargent. One that wakes me in the morning. One that never leaves my side and sticks onto me like glue. One that I can snuggle up to days that I feel alone and miserable. One that begs me with those puppy dog eyes to take him out for a stroll on those balmy evenings after the sun has set.

Some day in my haven, I want to have a studio, with a mural of Lord Shiva on one wall. Shelves filled with books, knick-knacks from travels, curios one-of-a-kind, and Amma’s paintings. Hued colored walls, muted shades that throw shadows and patterns during twilight. My dance anklets. A small music system. Multi-colored throws and rugs and cushions that brighten up the place.

Someday I want to write about the things that make me ME. The smell of old books. 4am conversations, which are peppered with lots of laughter and sober moments of realization. Windswept hair during fast bike rides. Drizzles on the face while taking long walks. A glass of rum on cold nights with people who matter to me. Military prints. Sarees. Ethnic jewelry. Adventure sports. Writing. Mythology. Temples. Tea at the roadside stalls. Hot molaga bhajjis. Vatthakozhambu. Filter Kaapi. Sunsets on beaches. Smoky eyes. Dance. Music. FRIENDSHIPS that make or break the world for me. Early morning quiet. Easy conversations. Surprises. Random hugs. Long drives. Card games. The very first sip of tea or coffee in the mornings. A good movie. Songs that touch the heart. Cycling. Traditions. Slokams. Roadtrips.

Someday I want to turn these dreams into reality and write a book that I can pour down all my life’s worth into, one that I can read in my old age, look back, and reminisce about a life well lived.

Someday.... 

Life's updates over a cup of coffee :)

Disclaimer. Anticipatory Bail.

This is going to be one of those boring posts, much like a gap-filler. Mostly because I keep being asked why I am not writing anything these days. But also, I really want to break this rut that I am in!!

A fancy title, lots of blaming mundane stuff, some general updates, lots of excessive smileys and a promise to return to blogging seriously, that is what this is going to be about. So if you’re expecting something concrete, sorry :) :) One of these days, soon enough, I will post quality stuff. Today, however, is not that day. :D :D

Blogger tells me that it has been 157 days since I blogged. That is equal to 5 months and 4 days. 22 weeks and 2 days.

No, I did not do this math. I used Google. That is a huge number of days that have lapsed. I do not even want to get into the calculations of how many weekdays and weekends that is. And No! I do not have any specific reasons! I can blame lack of motivation, writer’s block of plain laziness. I can also blame bouts of travel. Oh No!! I will not blame TRAVEL! It is the best thing to happen this year. :) :)

Technically, I should have had enough stuff to blog about. As I said, I have done a fair bit of traveling this past 6 months compared to the usual spending long weekends cooped up in SG. I could have also continued my Mahabharata Chronicles, which I do intend to continue by the way – there are piles of unfinished drafts lying in the folder… :)). I could have done some tags. As I remember, they used to be my most favorite blog topics a couple of years back. :P Not that I found any worth my time.

So what was I up to?

I travelled a bit, made use of the lots of long weekends that are there this year in a good way, stayed at home the one longest weekend because of lack of planning. :-/ Something that still irks me. Anyways, let’s not dwell on that!! I am looking forward to change that in the rest of the months in 2015. This year however so far, I have been to Leh – Ladakh, Penang, Ipoh, Bali, and home! :-) :-) I know! Not too bad huh! :)

On the milestones front, I turned another year older, completed 2 years at my current job, and completed 6 years in Singapore. I started learning a new dance form (Odissi), gave it up when I went on a two week break with the family to Bali, I checked some things off my bucket list and added another few items on it. I have a few more things pending for this year that I need to check off.

Oh also, I had the most awesome birthday ever with a kick-ass cake to boot, and baked by a close friend. Idea conceived by the best friend. :-) Nope. Can’t post any pics here since it’s too racy for this blog :D Suffice to say, good friends, great night-out, dance, dinner, drinks, and brilliant presents. :) :) Fun was had, and HOW!!! :) :)

As part of the above celebs, I was gifted a kindle this year, something that has been on my wish list for the last 2 years. I was on the fence about an e-reader but can I tell you the stats?  14 books in 4 months. That is some achievement even by my standards! It’s GOOD, people. Take my word for it! I still love my books, smell of paper and all that, but this little device has been a lifesaver on my one-hour plus train journeys back and forth from home to office.

Someone very kindly reminded me about a couple of months back; it has been 6 years since I landed on the shores of Singapore. That is a long time even by my standards. Normally in about three years or so, I get that itchy feeling to move out and head to a new place. I still do get that sometimes here. Have to figure out what to do about it. Been everywhere here, seen everything, done almost everything – time to head to a new place huh? I mean, I am comfortable in this place. It has given me a lot, but it has taken a fair bit as well, so my feelings are quite ambivalent in that regard. The one thing that I will always be thankful to Singapore for – FRIENDS.

Oh boy, I can definitely ramble on eh. I mean, I actually thought I would not have anything to write about.

Ok. I think I should stop here. I hope this gives me back the mojo to continue the blogging efforts, especially ‘The Mahabharata Chronicles’. :) :)

In the meantime, if you do see me, do ask me why I am not writing anything these days; it seems to do the trick. ;) :)

Until the next blog then...

And another year draws to a close...

Thus, another year ends …

The curtains on 2014 are drawing to a close on a year filled with a motley bag of happenings.  I do not really want to get very philosophical on this post, but my year-end posts always are, tinged with a bit of reflection. :-)

If I had to sum up 2014 in one word, I would have to say it was QUICK. It seems just like yesterday that we were out at ECP bringing in 2014. What seemed like a quirky start to the New Year involving hailing down unresponsive cabs and trip by the metro early in the morning, soon spiraled into one of the fastest years in recent times. So many things have happened, so many events have unfolded, and things are much clearer in so many aspects.

This year, filled with a multitude of happenings, will be a year that I can never forget and will be one of those years that I can look back and say that, 2014 in many ways will always be a very special year for me. There have been some awesome highs, some tragic lows, much deserved peace of mind, some well-warranted closures, a few nasty fights, some amazing get-togethers, and unforgettable moments. People who have come into my life, some who have exited from it, others whose value in my life has exponentially increased and a few others who have just made it a better place by being simply being there. There have been a few hard lessons learnt, some tough times dealt with - few in good ways and others in very childish ways. There has been a lot of giving up and letting go moments, fighting for what it’s worth moments, and knowing for sure this is what I want moments. There have also been some brilliant instances, a few revelations and a lot more happy bursts than I expected. There have been fewer regrets this year and for that, I am grateful. It has been a year that has been filled with lots of growing up, lots of reflection, lots of understanding of the person that I am turning into (and liking it btw) and lots of clarity in knowing what I want from my life.

It is crazy how all of that happened in just one single year. It has been a total mixed bag and a fun ride in 2014. Good while it lasted, and while it reached the peak somewhere during the middle of the year, and has sobered down a lot over the last few weeks, there’s always that anticipation tingling inside of me about things that are yet to come, plans that will be made and events that will unfold.

My love for new beginnings, have been spelt out enough on this blog. So no surprises that, I am looking forward to 2015.

2015, I hope, is filled with lots of happiness, good health, cheer and prosperity.

I hope the coming year will have lots of magic moments, dreams that will be fulfilled and madness in the quirkiest sense. I hope to start something anew and finish it. Take up new challenges. Grow up. I hope to have lots of travel. Go on road trips. Meet new people. Explore places. I hope to see sunrises. Contemplate over sunsets. I hope to revel in spots of sunshine, splashes of rain and the wind on my face. I hope to sweat it out and become more fit. I hope to dance until I drop. Write until I run out of ideas. And give into life!!! I wish to live life to the fullest and enjoy every single moment of it. 

Here to a brand NEW YEAR ... Here's to 2015!! 

Glasses clinking, Eyes twinkling and all guns ablaze!! 

Gear up!! Pull out all stops. 2015, I am on my way!!!  :-) :-) :-) 

Masti, Marriages, Mayhem, Milestones, Mangoes and Much More … The Month that was MAY!!!

Yes! That’s how cool we are these days! Because, a title is all I can come up with at this point of time. The self-induced plethora of blog posts on the 100 happy days has bitten the dust long back. Very very long back, in case you guys didn’t notice! Which is to say, have you all disappeared from here like I have? :-/ 

Anyways, the story, bottom line, the point of it all, is THIS. I came up with that cool title about a week back and was wondering what to write on those very topics (we are diligent, if not anything else!) so that it qualifies for a readable post. After breaking my head over which, I gave it all up and decided to churn out whatever got in the way of these fingers while typing… which translates to, you may have to end up reading some nonsensical stuff – if you’re reading this that is! :P

So we settle back to old usual random way of spilling out all those thoughts that have taken up space in my mind… de-cluttering it is gonna be my dear friends!

Where were we? Oh yeah! The 100 Happy Days Challenge. Right! I am very happy to inform you that this has bitten the glorious dust like a lot many of my projects. Again! Not because I was / am not happy most of the days. They were eclipsed by this other factor called PROCRASTINATION of which I am a master! Either ways, I did get some super awesome feedback from some very kind people and if I ever get the feeling that I will want to start a blogging spree, I may just take it up on again. I actually did want to do that A to Z blogging challenge which a lot of my co-bloggers have picked up, but then considering I did not finish the earlier challenge, I thought it was safer for me to stay away from challenges for a while. But to those of you who are doing it, KUDOS! I end up reading all of those blog posts, and then feel jealous that I am not able to write like that!!... Hmmmppff!! Oh and before I forget – remember this post on HOPE and Britto words… I got one for myself!! :D this one in the image right below… Kinda symbolic you think! :D :D Hehehe!

Have I ever told you, that the month of MAY is my most favourite of all months in the year?  December comes a close second, but MAY is right up there. You ask me, why? I say, because it’s my BIRTHDAY Month! And this MAY was simply awesome… whole lot of celebrations, a trip back home, temple visits, farmhouse visits, mangoes, reading and lazing about at home… the best 2 weeks and 3 weekends in a long long time. The vacation this time started off with a close one’s wedding, the associated celebs, an almost finger-removing car door slam (a lil’ exaggeration if I may!), the long drive back to Home Sweet Home (which I was visiting after more than a year!!!), the hot humid weather, the blessed showers, a milestone birthday, the folks’ anniversary, a new car, temples, the mango & jackfruit season, the gorging on amma’s cooking, catching up with all the besties, and so much of reading, sleeping, gossiping, shopping and all that jazz…  BLISS!!!

This pic below is from the farmhouse. Clicked and edited on my phone, it calls for a whole new blog post all by itself. I love this one spot at KALAM and the fact that it has a statue of one of my favourite gods makes it even more enchanting.

Coming back to work, after more than 2 weeks means VACATION HANGOVER. Which is what happened. And what also happened was that, I forgot the password to unlock my system!!! After a couple of futile tries, it opened up! Thank god for predictability!! :-) And then it was back to square one! Putting out fires and getting rid of the to-do pile and then adding more to the to-do pile. Just another few routine days! :-s while that was going on, I noticed something weird. I was kind of getting tired of MAY. I mean, yeah! It was still my favourite month and all that but god! How long was this month in any case??  It felt like it was never getting over!!!! :-/ probably all that work stress! ;-) but we did have some good times at work like a drinks get together, some cake cutting and general silliness with the girls on and off! Solid team I have here I tell you!! Touch wood! :D :D

Also caught up on a few movies, including the much hyped ‘Kochadaiyaan’, which frankly in my opinion did not feel like a Rajini movie at all, sorry! The only relatable part was his voice and dialogue delivery which remotely made me feel I was watching a thalaivar movie! None of that mass hysteria or that jaw-dropping and silly grins ever happened. But then all said and done, was one heck of an attempt by the crew. Could have been better though, I have to say! If you are going to be shooting a movie for more than 2 years, I am going to expect something better than a game of guess-who-that-hero/heroine-is! And for a thalaivar movie, those expectations are well warranted, if you ask me.

Watched X-Men and drooled over Hugh Jackman unabashedly. Also loved the movie. New characters, new plot line which completely derails all that ever happened until X-Men: The Last Stand, and a devilishly brilliant action sequence by one of the most inspired characters ever – Quicksilver set to Jim Croce’s Time in a Bottle. Stand out scene!! The best scene in the entire movie, if you ask me. Evan Peters with that roguish grin of his is someone I want to see more of in the upcoming X-Men movies.

And the IPL madness has ended, with the team that I supported getting trashed in the qualifier – 2, thanks to some recklessly stupid shots by a seasoned player. I also got to know that my cricket knowledge is half-baked when the best friend was kind enough to point out in some not-so-good-words, that Dwayne Bravo was a medium fast pace bowler and not spin like I had always thought!! Gulp!! Don’t ask me why I thought he was spin bowler! :( I half dozed through the finals yesterday. I so badly wanted Punjab to win, which obviously didn’t happen. Anyways, now that has ended. KKR has won and SRK is a happy man, on his way to becoming the richest actor in the world!

Over to the milestones part now.

I turned 30. And I am somehow feeling very glad about it. Weird right! I always feared growing older and now I find that I am actually looking forward to the 30s. I think I am finally becoming wisdomous in Joey Tribbiani’s words! So ladies and gentlemen, the milestone birthday was brought in amidst folks, after about 5 years and with all four of us under one roof. Low-key all the same but one of the most relaxing big moments ever. Gone are those days where one could pull an all-nighter and still show up to work fresh and dewy faced. Now if I don’t get my quota of 6 hours, I am a grumpy soul solely walking straight thanks to copious amounts of coffee.

The other milestone is that I completed 5 years in this ‘Lah-Lah’ land! Funny how time flies. And when I think back, I can’t believe I have spent 5 years here. And I don’t know whether to be happy or sweet about it. I think I will settle for BITTERSWEET!

MS Word tells me that I have typed 3 pages already.

I think I should stop on this note. J

I wish I could say that I will blog more religiously and fervently from now on, but I don’t want to make promises that I can’t keep! :P

Oh god! This wisdomous thing is sometimes a pain! ;) :P

Peace out…