9 years and counting... :)

I completed 9 YEARS of blogging yesterday. That is a long time for someone like me who gets bored of things and hobbies fast. It is also one of the few things that have been a constant in my life these past few years. One of the few that I stick to out of the handful that I have. J

I started blogging exactly 9 years ago, on a balmy Thursday evening at ASB. A year into my MBA course, I was at a loss. Until then, my only outlet was random diaries, notebooks and such most of which I had burned the year before I joined for MBA. Yes. I was not thinking. Being obsessive about keeping my secret scribbles were more important. In hindsight, it was probably a blessing in disguise. ;) :P Blogging therefore was quite new. On a rocky internet connection, sitting at our third floor computer lab, I gingerly opened blogger and tried navigating my way through it. My biggest inspiration then was this senior from my school called Sandhya. Hers was one of the few blogs I had come across and I openly admired the effortless way that she wrote. I hijacked the title of my blog, from a friend who had casually mentioned it in passing, created a blog, and was on my way. Devious uh! :P

Being a not-so-very-expressive person myself, I admire people who can express themselves eloquently. I have a high regard for people who can do things effortlessly. Like public speaking. Having the ability to say no. Dancing. Writing.

When it comes to expressing myself, I find that I prefer writing to speaking them out.

I admit! I am sucker for words. I unabashedly revere people who can create magic with words. I find myself frequently getting lost in other people’s words, and seeing reflections of myself in them. This is usually coupled with self-pity at the fact that I will never be as good a writer as the person’s words that I have just imbibed, and as well awe of the words that I have just gotten lost in.

When it comes to blogging, I’m usually a stickler for perfection. The words have to perfect, the sentences framed just so, and the meaning conveyed just right, no innuendoes other than the one that I have intended. Out of the 351 posts that I have published over the last 9 years, only about 1/4^th of them are up to that level of perfection that I so desire. The Mahabharata Chronicles are one of them. Other ones are under the label Knitted Yarn and Being a Girl. These are my favorite ones. The ones that I have written long back when I started blogging are more fluff pieces than anything else is. Now when I read them, I cringe and think about how much better I could have written them. Most of my turbulent 20's are covered in here. However, I do realize that they are an essential part of my life that show how much I have evolved and how much has changed from back then to now. From whom I was to who I am now. :-) :-)

These days, blogging is like therapy. Gone are the days when I had to blog just for the sake of it. Nowadays I blog when I feel like it. When I want to express something. Some Joys, some Hidden Angst, Snippets of Life, New Beginnings, and of course Milestones like these.

Tweaking the popular adage,

“My words sound better coming from my hands than from my mouth. My Expression, My life! ;-)"

Here’s to countless more years of blogging and expressing my life out! :) :)  Cheers!

The 20s as I saw it! :-) :-)

There’s this article that’s doing the rounds in ‘my internet world’. I say my internet world because almost everywhere I log in; I see some reference or the other to this. It’s on my Flipboard, my Facebook feed (at least from 6-7 folks), on my reader feeds and of course on Thought Catalog. Where it all started from!! And add to it, the fact that I am at the fag end of my 20s, and also in the middle of doing a series of blog posts on the same subject, this seemed like too good a chance to pass up on.. Also as an aside, I am suffering from a block of not knowing what to write … so kill two birds with one stone I say! ;)

Here is the link to the original article published in Thought Catalog.

And here’s my take on it.

1. Have a roommate you love.

You know, back when I was at my first ever job, I moved into a PG and ended up sharing my room with a whole bunch of girls. I was no stranger to this. Considering the fact that I stayed in a hostel, run by folks who channeled Hitler’s spirit, the PG seemed like a haven really. However, I did meet quite a few interesting characters. One of them of was this girl, W, who soon became a good friend and a close enough one. We did the whole “roommates” stuff – midnight binges, taking care of each other, letting each other in on life stories, etc .. Until the time I was in the PG. After I moved out, of course, as is the case with a lot of my friends, I lost touch with her. Got in touch through Facebook again, only to lose touch again... Seemed like a cycle, and with more pressing matters to attend to, this took to the back-burner. But those were fun times.

2. Have a roommate you hate.

Same PG. Same room. Different gal. S was a character like none. She bought clothes by the dozen, loved dressing up, loved garnering attention, was rude, unbearable and had a high pitched whiny noise that was grating on the ears. Of course, I could be biased here. Things really hit the roof, when she got a friend of hers, exactly like her and with a pea-sized brain to boot who ran away with her boyfriend after getting a registered marriage done. I just wanted to be rid of them and one fine glorious day, that happened too! :-D she just upped and left the room, leaving it free for W to move in ;) :)

3. Fall head over heels for someone who treats you like dirt.

Done. Dusted. I think everyone goes through this. At some point. For some time frame.

4. Let go of someone you’ve been holding onto.

Done. It definitely was hard but not impossible.

5. Have one night you’ll never forget and that you can’t remember.

They say drinking in your 20s is way different than drinking in your 30s or closer to 30s like these days for me. True that is! I am sure most of us have had all had that crazy night where we have gotten piss-drunk and not remembered one single incident but guaranteed that it will be one that you will never ever forget. However, at the end of it, you will realize that one - drinking is not that big a deal as its made out to be and two – you will most certainly learn your limits about how much you can handle and cannot. There will always be that one drink that you know is the threshold. Look out for it and drink sensibly.

6. Make a life changing mistake.

Made it. A big big one!! Bang right in the middle of the 20s. Could have been worse I suppose in retrospect. But what the heck! It happened. It’s over. And I am way over it.

7. Royally piss off your parents.

Yes! Done! Scores of times! But irrespective of whether they are pissed by my decision or whether they agree to it, fully or not, they have always stuck by my and let me have my own way and learn from my mistakes. :) Blessed that way!

8. Date.

Yep. Go out, meet people, have a wide circle, flirt some and enjoy it to the fullest. And always remember, the choice is yours! :-)

9. Go out to dinner by yourself.

Very very true! :). And while you are at it, go for a movie by yourself as well. Nothing is more exhilarating than these once in a while. I do this pretty often. Go to a nice place. Take a book along for company. Pretty awesome feel! :-)

10. Take a huge risk.

Taken and it’s paying off. ;-) Fingers crossed! :)

11. Move.

I did. Of course it was not a part of a plan. It just happened that I ended up in Singapore in 2009. And when I moved here, I didn’t have a job. But I couldn’t sit at home either. So I went out. A lot. In buses. And walks. Learnt the routes. Learnt the places. Hidden roads. Lonesome getaway places. And a few nooks and crannies that are part of my favorite places here. ;-) But now it’s been 4+ years and that itch has started again. Wanderlust is raking its head up.

12. Get a pet.

This is pending. I want to have a doggy at some point of time. 30s probably! :-)

13. Donate your college clothes.

Of this I am glad. I don’t ever want to go back to my college clothes. Nope. Much better off now and much better taste now as well. Even if no one else vouches for it. But I still hold on to a few things from the “college-phase” that i am unable to let go off … you can’t imagine how comfortable these are! :P

14. Figure yourself out.

On a totally selfish note, I am taking my own sweet time with this. Doing what I want, the way I want and at the pace I want. Simple pleasures. :-)

15. Exercise.

To me, that just translates to Dance. ;-)

16. Pig out on junk food.

Did it for so long that I got appendicitis at the end of it. :P Still pig out on junk food from time to time though ;) especially at midnight… food tastes loads better when its midnight-binging!!!

17. Watch the news.

Keep yourself updated on what’s happening around the world at least not to look like an idiot when someone is talking about it. And I mean it. I will let you in on a little secret. I am/was curious by nature. But before I joined for my MBA, I wasn’t too bothered about what was happening around me in the world. I was in a sheltered cocoon and I was happy there. Until I got embarrassed to boot by a classmate… that really kick-started it. And now funnily enough, I crave for information in all forms. Curiosity is now my middle name and asking questions is second nature. I guess somewhere I must really thank him for that push!!

18. Keep your resume updated. Just do it.

You never really know when you might need it. The current job that I have is my third one this year. So best case, be prepared... You don’t really know what opportunity might come in when.. :)

19. Work your ass off.

The lure of your own money, the means to blow it up as you please, and also the taste of the independence that comes along with this …. :-) but keep this in mind! Considering that you are going to be spending more than 1/3^rd of your day at the office, ensure that you enjoy what you are doing!! :P  no point otherwise, spending half your lifetime, at a job that you don’t enjoy and gives you the ulcers.

20. Enjoy it.

This time, this decade… you aren’t ever going to get it back. You will of course have other things to be happy and be thankful for in your teenage and your 30s and 40s etc… but this time, this decade is all about you! YOU YOU and more YOU! So enjoy it. Live it to the fullest.

Have loads of new experiences; learn to revel in the taste and the after-taste of those experiences, so that when you come across them later on in life, you know what you have to do with them! Embrace or steer clear of them! :)

Travel. Widen those horizons. At the risk of sounding preachy and clichéd, nothing gives you a sense and value of the things that you have in your life and things that you may take for granted, when you are shaken out of that comfort zone. Live it up. Rough it out. Trust me, you will enjoy it. You have enough time in the upcoming years to be comfortable and be predictable. This is the time to be impulsive and take chances. Be spontaneous, but also be safe and wise when it comes to taking those chances ;-)

Flirt, fall in love, get your heart broken, break someone’s heart, and learn to differentiate between those voices in the head and the ones from the heart. Listen to the one you feel is right. And always always always go with your gut feeling. If you’re unsure, wait until you are sure about it. You have all the time in the world. It’s your life and you are the master of it.

Experience life to the fullest. Not just in your 20s.

But as long as that thing inside of you keeps pumping life into you… :-)

When it comes to something like FRIENDSHIPS, I sure can ramble on!! :)

So then after those famous last words - the series start …

Let’s talk about FRIENDSHIP, shall we? 

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Your other family.

The ones whom you have the right and the independence to choose.

I heard this recently – Apparently if you are friends with someone for a period of 7 years or more, chances are that you will be friends with them for life. Now, I am not the best person to comment on this. I have friendships that range the 10-20 years period, as well as the ones that are still in their fledgling phase, but that have the propensity to get to the ‘decades-old’ echelon. Of course, over this same period, I have also lost friendships that I thought would never break or fade away and people that have just disappeared, voluntarily or involuntarily from my life.

Me – I am a very complicated person. There are various facets to myself, some of those that I myself am unaware of! On the surface, I am an extrovert. I make friends easily. I talk a lot. I am vibrant in company. I can hold my own on a diverse range of topics. But on the other hand, I am a very private person too. I don’t trust people easily. I let only very very very few people into my head and I prefer it that way. I find it hard to express my feelings. And I find it hard to let people inside of me. So I let it be. In the hope that the other person understands what I mean to say, through my so-called actions, gestures and sometimes even the most stupidest of things I say, totally unrelated to what I really wanted to say, in the first place. This would be me reaching out. Of course, they may or may not understand and that’s where the wavelength, frequency, chemistry or whatever fancied terms you call it as, comes into picture.

The reason is trust once broken takes a long while to be regained and restored. The broken trust also brings with it skepticism, fear and a sense of questioning that not many people are aware of. Sometimes others suffer for what someone else has done. Or sometimes, they lack the patience to see the broken person through it and to regain or restore that trust. This is precisely the reason that many of us have more of acquaintances and hi-bye, casual friends, as opposed to very few close ones. It’s also the reason that I cannot claim that there exists one single person on this earth who knows every single thing about me. Probably if you get all my close friends together, of which there are very few, you may piece together stories about my life – bits and pieces again!

Most of my present day solid friendships were formed in my twenties. Some in the blink of an eye, some over a couple of drinks, an evening out, a chance meeting and some others over a period of months and some even years!! They are all people that I trust on various levels. And they are all people that I know I can turn to in rain or shine :-) and by god, am I thankful for them or what! But then, there have also been hits and misses. Lessons learnt, fingers burnt, and strife dealt with. Lots of insights along the way as well.

There are a lot of things that these bonds have taught me.

That there are always those kinds of rapports, the ones you can just pick up from where you left off! And you realize that nothing has changed. It’s like the break never occurred. These are the best kinds!!

That friendship can happen for the most stupidest of reasons. Like the fact that you both like the same cocktail. Or the fact that you both had that one person in common that you hate. You never know! And sometimes, you just know! :)

That you can always recall back to that time when you crossed that line with someone from stranger to acquaintance to friend to trusted pal or vice versa! That one discerning moment!

That sometimes you become friends with someone too soon, and too close. And you may not realize why or when. Because you are having too good a time with them! And then, your friendship with them reaches a maturity point. Where neither will have anything more to say, talk or share with the other. But that doesn’t mean that the friendship has ended. It just means that you have grown along in the friendship and now you are comfortable in silence as well in chat.

That chalk and cheese can actually be friends! Sometimes the people that you least expected to be friends with in the initial twenties, will turn out to be the ones that you are more comfortable with and you wonder why you never liked them back then!

And the most important of them all, that the people who like you for what you are; will always let you be the way you want to be.

In the course of these years, I have come across all sorts of people. I am sure you must have too.

The good ones. The bad ones. The ugly ones. The helpful ones. The selfish ones. The selfless ones. The ones with the devil-may-care attitude. The ones who genuinely look out and care for you. The ones who take you for a ride. The ones who take you for granted. And the ones who let you be.

All sorts of them. Most of these sorts are my friends. I probably belong(ed) to most of these sorts as well. Maybe not the entire gamut, but definitely an overlap of some of these.

Learn to choose your friends wisely. Pick up from the hits and misses! But never ever regret any of the moments! Most of your ‘rocking-crazy-fun filled-memorable-bad ass’ experiences come from the twenties. Where the only thing on the mind is to live on the edge, meet new people, gain new experiences and live it up! This decade is a great time for this. It’s the time that you are spreading out your wings. It’s that point of time where you are on the brink of ‘something old’ and ‘something new’ syndrome. When you step out on your own into the big world – the jungle! :) Make the most of it! :)

Inching towards the big THREE OH! :) :) New Beginnings!!!

There is this post for my blog that I have been contemplating for a while now.

It started out as an idea for a take on "Life in the Twenties" concept.

About the ups and downs and the way that things unfold and what to expect etcetera from my viewpoint considering that I was soon going to be hitting the big three-oh. It is most definitely a milestone of sorts, age-wise, experience-wise and also learning-wise.

It all started when some time back I came across these letters. One was a letter from a 19 year old to a daughter she was going to adopt and you could see such depth in it. The others were some from older selves to younger selves; their own or people they wanted to send it to…  I wanted to do one of these, or something on those lines. But the fact was that, I didn’t know whom I should be penning this to?  To my child, who may or may not be born? To my own younger self?  To the other 20-year olds?  I still don’t know frankly. And I am not too sure what I really have to say. And then it struck me that I was getting nowhere with it. Not with what I wanted to talk about, how to put it into words, how to frame experiences from my life, with respect to people, career, love, family, relationships etc. I hit a block and I wasn’t sure how to proceed with it. I had specific things in my mind that I wanted to touch upon. I knew that if I had to write it in one go; it would be like a mega blog post.

So then I thought that maybe this was not the right time to pen this, maybe I was not ready… but what the heck! My Blog! My Expression! My Life! :P (Shameless Plug-in as you can see ;) ).

Officially, I have started on my 30th year. I have completed 29 years and this is the last time I will be embracing the term “I am in my twenties!!”..

How does it feel to be hitting the big three oh?? A bit different…

How different? A teeny-weeny bit from when I wrote THIS post…

Is that good different or bad different? I am not sure, to be honest!

How has my twenties been?  I think A ROLLER-COASTER RIDE should sum it up nicely… :)

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.” -  Calvin & Hobbes!

That’s precisely my twenties. :D Good times, Bad times, Fun times, Stressful times, you name it, I have had it! :)

They say that the twenties are the best times of your lives. And for now, I got to agree! Unless the thirties show me something better ;-) 

Terrific Twenties... Hell yeah!  Of course! Tumultuous Twenties... Sure! That too!

My adolescent years were a breeze compared to my twenties. If my adolescent years were peppered with rage, rebellion, mood-swings, helplessness, mainly because I didn’t know why I was behaving the way I was, my twenties were a lot worse. They are not too much different, the early twenties I mean, when compared to your teenage years. The only and the most important difference being, you start realizing why you feel something instead of the popular “I don’t know why I feel this way!” phrase! You find specific reasons to attribute those feelings to! And you get better at it, as you go along.

To me, that was the whole crux of my twenties.  If you ask me what is the one thing that strikes me first when I think of my twenties, its CHOICE. INDEPENDENCE most definitely, follows a close second. And more often than not, they went hand in hand for me. 

What have my twenties taught me? A whole bunch of things. :)

To me, this is the decade that I started to experience the true meaning to living life to the fullest…

I lived. I laughed. I loved. I was loved. I lost some. I won some. I learnt.

To me, this is the decade that I started realizing myself. Who I was, what I was turning to, what I had been all this while and why I was like that all these years …  I liked the person I was becoming from the person I was. I enjoyed discovering things about myself.

Then somewhere it struck me that if I had to cover everything that I wanted to talk about, it would be better to do this as a series. At the very least, it will save my writing from dying out.

All I can say is that it may help you who are reading this, but then again it may not.

It may make sense to you, dear reader, but then again, it may not. Your life and my life are / may be poles apart of course.

What I pen here, is the sum of my experiences, stuff that I have picked up from these many years … some of it in existence, but some truly living it up…

Somewhere I hope you identify with it.

Somewhere I hope you nod your head and say that “Yes! It happened to me too!” …

So then, here’s to NEW BEGINNINGS! :-)