My cup runneth over....

I had a dream.

I nestled it close to my heart like a mother guarding its cub.

I kept it away from all eyes and ears until I felt I could achieve it.

I cupped it in the crook of my palms and held it not too tight, not too loose.

I did not talk about it to people for the fear that it would not be so magical afterwards.

Like a fistful of sand that falls through the sieve leaving behind the fine grains, I polished it until it shone like a diamond, nurtured it until it grew into a sturdy thought, refined it until the coarse edges where smoothened, leaving only the cultured pearl within the oyster…

Then one day, another thought crept in… another kind of a reverie… a different sort of a vision…

It scared me until I could barely think about the changes that it would wreck on the unique reverie that I cherished…

It was like a breath of fresh air... it was radical, intrepid and daring… it still awoke that sense of nervousness in me at the thought of transformation or amendment of my novel thought…

And then like a careless whisper, it murmured into my being that it was there to help me evolve and not to completely alter me… like the soft fluttering of the leaves in the wind, it gave me hope… faith in it, to understand and appreciate the being that it was… it filled me with a sense of optimism that, together the thoughts and dreams, if merged into one, could make much more headway into making the possessors happier than what it was meant to be…

It filled me with a sense of elation and a new dream…

And my cup runneth over …..

INDIA Poised - Our time is now...

There was a video that made the rounds of the office mails a few months back.
A video which showed Amitabh Bachchan talking about INDIA.
It was an initiative by the Times of India and Times Now.
Titled INDIA Poised – Our time is NOW.
I have reproduced it here in the hope that people are aware of the change that’s taking place in our country.
Of course reading it here is not the same as listening to Amitabh talk about it. But I like it a lot and it does quite inspire or awaken something in people! At least it did so for me!
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There are 2 INDIAs in this country.

One INDIA is straining at the leash, eager to spring forth and live up to all the adjectives that the world has been recently showering upon us. The other INDIA is the leash.

One INDIA says give me a chance and I will prove myself. The other INDIA says prove yourself first and maybe then you will have a chance.

One INDIA lives in the optimism of our hearts. The other INDIA lurks in the skepticism of our minds.

One INDIA wants. The other INDIA hopes.

One INDIA leads. The other INDIA follows.

These conversions are on the rise. With each passing day more and more people from the other INDIA are coming over to this side.

And quietly. While the world is not looking.

A pulsating dynamic new INDIA is emerging.

An INDIA whose faith in success is far greater than its fear of failure.

An INDIA that no longer boycotts foreign made goods; but buys out the companies that makes them instead.

History, they say is a bad motorist. It rarely ever signals its intentions when it’s taking a turn.

This is that rarely ever moment.

History is turning a page.

For over half a century, our nation has sprung, stumbled, run, fallen, rolled over, got up and dusted herself and encountered; sometimes lurched on.

But now in our 60th year as a free nation, the ride has brought us to the edge of time’s great precipice and one INDIA, a tiny little voice at the back of the head is looking down at the bottom of the ravine and hesitating.

The other INDIA is looking up at the sky and saying, it’s time to fly.

Silence is Golden ... (sometimes!!)

She was quiet. Almost like her personality was in the silent mode like in a cell phone.

Quite contrasting to her personality! She was a chatterbox. Anyone who knew her would say that. She could go on and on and on about stuff… She would just not stop talking…

It was quite unlike her to be quiet. And even more so when there was no specific reason to it.

Nothing wrong with her mood. Everything was the same and it was quite a normal day.

Yet she was silent. And she just did not feel like talking! And she did not feel like giving an explanation as to why she was quiet. No one would understand even if they tried.

Because she did not have a reason. She just did not want to talk.

Abnormal? Unusual?

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Has it ever happened to you that you just go silent? I mean even if there’s nothing wrong with you or nothing wrong with your mood! You just don’t feel like talking and least of all give anyone a specific reason as to why you are not talking!!

And then you get a hundred odd questions!

‘Why are you quiet? Is something wrong? Are you not feeling well? This is so unlike you! Is something bothering you? Did you have a fight with someone? Did someone hurt you? What happened to you?’

Whereas on a typical day it would go something like,

‘Can you just keep quiet for some time? How much you talk! Why do you keep going on and on and on… ? You are quite a chatterbox aren’t you? How come you can talk something on everything? I’ll pay you if you shut up for some time!’

Contradictory huh…!

Shows how change affects people in my opinion! Lol..!

But I have had a lot of days exactly like this…

I mean I am not always expected to be cheerful, smiling, pepped up right… I can have my off days or days when I choose to be off. Sometimes it is so weird that you don’t even have a clue as to what set you off or put you in a bad mood. And for all you know it might not be a bad mood at all…

I do not need a special reason to keep quiet. I can just go silent when I feel like and it does not taking anything from anyone, just my thoughts! But somehow people tend to perceive it as something gone wrong!

Wonder why!

Black, White or Gray!

How does it feel to get those fat droplets of rain fall on you and stand underneath it without a care in the world?

How does it feel to go walking along the lonely roads of the city at midnight, blowing little clouds on mist into the air and feel the cold still tugging at you through the jacket that you’ve worn?

How will it be to dance barefoot on a dew-drop filled terrace to your hearts’ content watching the first rays of the sun fall upon you?

How would it be to have a hot cup of tea in the middle of the night, watching the mist unfurl in the hours between darkness and light?

How does it feel to have a tiny tot touch you with its cute little fingers and cuddle up to you muttering sweet-nothings in the gibberish tongue that it speaks?

How does it feel when you come back after a long tiring day at work curl up in the easy chair with a glass of wine, soothing music and a good book, legs resting on the comforter, phone turned off, and just rest and relaxation surrounding you?

Does being free give you a complete picture of what the world looks like?

Does being in a relationship give you the sense of security and belongingness that we humans are always craving for?

Does being single help you notice things that you would otherwise be oblivious to?

Does breaking up with someone give you a whole new perspective on relationships or does it make you wary about the next relationship that comes your way?

Does the tug-of-war within your heart cease when you become on your own; to do what you want to; to be your own master; to take whatever decisions your heart/mind tells you to?

Compromises, Conciliations, Concessions, name it what you what, life is filled with this and much more… In the form of parents, spouse, siblings, friends, and people who care about you enough to protect you from the harsh realities of the so-called cruel world!

A desire to be free contrasting against the yearning to be wanted.

A longing to be free from the shackles that bind against the ache to be chained to the life that you are in now.

A strong wish to swim along with the flow of the mind against the pull of the heart.

There’s always a pull – push feeling.

A feeling of wanting to be in two places at once and having the best of both worlds.

Between the person I am and the person I want to be.

Friday Woes....

I HATE SITTING LATE ON A FRIDAY IN OFFICE WITH NOTHING TO DO... :-(

WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF PEOPLE REALIZED THAT WE HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OFFICE....

WOULD ALSO BE GLAD IF PEOPLE DID NOT MAKE ME SIT HERE SIMPLY WITH NO WORK, NO DEADLINES, OR FOR THAT MATTER ANYTHING TO DO....

WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND????

Disconnected...

Sometimes even with the closest of friends or relatives, you feel a disconnect… like you are in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person…

It would have been just minutes ago before you met the person that you would have been craving to meet up with them… missing them like crazy… waiting inanely for a word from them… any word… a gesture…

But when you actually meet them… then?? Then what happens? Nothing! Suddenly you feel like it’s better off not meeting them… at that point of time all you want to do is to be away at some other place … just not there..!! You don't feel like talking, you don't feel like you are a part of their world... You don't feel good about the fact that the tête-à-tête did not come out the way it was supposed to be...

Can’t explain it… Doesn’t feel good… But still happens!

Wonder why… Wonder how…

The craving’s satisfied… but the meeting is far from perfect…

Weird are the ways of the mind!!! Has it happened to you??

Yay... I have been tagged...!! :-)... Thank you Rat!! :-)

Yay!! Yay!! I have finally been tagged.... The curse has broken :D... Now I can stop picking up random tags from people’s blogs I browse... :-)
Thanks Rat!!

The tag:

Two questions in each category answer them and then tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere. (Simple enough right?)

Leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged and you are all set.

I. Yesterday
A. Your oldest memories
› My bro’ – Achu – walking downstairs from our bedroom in the farmhouse with his tousled hair...
› Amma chasing us with a couple of books in her hand threatening us to do our homework.
› Going for a bath in the ‘parakulam’ at farmhouse with towels tied around in a kimono style... I still have photos from that time ;-)
› Walking up to the farmhouse with dad and Sahadevan – the caretaker. Falling down and hurting my knee on the jagged rock. Still have the scar to show for it.
› Going to school from the farmhouse sitting on my headmistress’ lap while the older girls poked fun... (I was 4-5 then!)
› Playing with Sergeant – our dog.
› Falling down the steps outside the KG classroom when I went to leave my bro’.... Almost like Humpty Dumpty had a great fall – Blame it on the school bag!
› Going on the bike with dad and mom – sitting almost on the petrol tank... :-)
› Listening to Thatha calling me ‘the most impertinent and arrogant girl he had ever known.’
› Listening to Thatha (this one is my mom’s dad) praising me in front of other cousins...
› Crying in school for the play they had chosen me for – to be an angel – saying I will not do it...!!
› Getting caned by the headmistress for breaking a rule... (yeah! I had an eventful childhood)
› Trying to make our pet parrot sing a Malayalam song and failing miserably in that!
› Sleeping on the long ‘oonjal’/’aatukattil’ in the farmhouse on my granddad’s lap...

Lots more.... but that will take up a post all by itself...!!!


B. What were you doing ten years ago?
› Getting geared up for Standard 10th exams listening to all those gory-stories of what would happen if I did not do well in it....
› Practicing for the tableau for the inter school district youth festival...
› Talking to Vaish for hours over the phone ...
› Various tuitions including one for Malayalam where we had to learn all those huge essays...
› Riding my bicycle at great speed on the colony roads (I had just learnt to ride it then!) and getting scolded by one of the ‘chettans’ in the colony chiding me for riding so fast...
› Hiding storybooks in the middle of the textbooks to smuggle and read it...
› Dance practices with Gopakumar sir...

II. Today
A. Your first thought in the morning
› I still have not gotten Ashwin’s wake-up call.... There’s still some more time to sleep... :-)
B. If you build a time capsule what would it contain?
› My diairies [the future should know what i was upto;-)], Lots of books that I enjoyed reading, some good A.R.Rahman music and cretain other evergreen melodies, the link to my blogs etched on a rock (Yeah I have a ‘certain high impression’ about myself! :P), photos of this time here and now!... :-)

III. Tomorrow
A. This year…
› New Job. New City. New language. New environment. New people. New lease on life.
› Trips with my gang here to Vizag, Narasapur, Hampi...
› Celebrating Anna’s birthday by organizing a surprise party for him right under his nose...
› The New Year’s at Kalyan’s place and the huge teddy he gifted me...
› Aakanksha sleeping in the nook of my arm...
› Moving out of the apartment we stayed in to a PG
› The hike and confirmation for the job I am in currently...
› Getting committed for life... :-)
› Bad experiences with a couple of people I never thought would happen...
› The fact that I realized who is who and how much of an impact someone can have on me.The fact that I came to know who I was and who I am not.

B. What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?
› Settled for life. Good career. Kids. Family life. Still practicing Dance! :-)