Friday, March 6, 2009

Why God Why.... Why me...!!?!??

You know what I hate!

Plans getting made and then getting dropped for some reason or the other…

I get disappointed man!
Really… you look forward to something so whole heartedly and then CRASH!!! BOOM!!!

There it goes… down the drain… all down like a mud-castle that you built on the sea shore… you know like when the sea goddess decides that she’ll just wash it off because it is standing out like a sore thumb in the wonderful beach…. Of course you know! What am I saying!!!

This year has gotten off a bad start… what with the Chairman of my company suddenly having a conscience attack and putting the future of an odd 45000 people at crossroads in their lives!

No one knows their future…. Yeah right! I am not trying to make predictions here. But then I have a broad idea about my future though am still not too sure of the finer details… but I know where I’ll be 3 months from now and that is a good thing what with the current state of affairs here…

No one knows where they’ll be in a month from now… But it is going to be my last few weeks in Hyderabad and before the ‘so-called-conscience-attack’ I had some great things planned for the rest of the time I had left here… and now they are all down like a pack of cards… and how many ever times I try to build them up again in various combination using different things it still collapses… weird!

Nothing is working out! Literally!

Each time I get into one of these moods I tell myself… “Stop cribbing! And start cheering up! Enjoy the left over days that you have here! And then you can go back to your haven in nice good ol’ Kerala.” Yeah right! A fat lot of good that did to me! It is like a vicious cycle… I get depressed thinking about the fact that I am going to be leaving and I will miss some special people over here and then I perk myself up saying ‘Cheer up! Nothing ever came out of looking like a sorry chicken caught in the rain’ and then I become all bubbly and nice and cheerful and talkative… everyone around me is happy that I am normal (yeah me being off my rocker means I am normal) and then we make plans…. To go somewhere, to eat something at some nice place and something even as trivial as watching a movie or taking a drive… Bam! There… someone up there or down in the nether world heard my wishful thinking and Bang! They say, “I am sorry we have to put a spoke in that wheel of thought that you have, so here goes! Oh 1 spoke is not quite enough… here take 2 or better still keep 3 for safe measures!” and there it collapses! And I am left picking the pieces trying to make sense of what just happened! God knows seriously!

All I ask for is that my last few weeks here are good, nice, peaceful, without any changes or disruptions, happy and memorable so that I have a happy image about the place! This was the notion that I carried over or rather kinda-sorta New Year wish! Hell! I think someone somewhere has a warped sense of humor.

And now I have given up!

You up there or down in the netherworld… you heard me?? I have given up! I now know for sure that whatever plans I make are not going to be fulfilled or they will not take place! So why bother to make any plans in the first place!!! So true! Yeah yeah I heard you back then!

So now motto is to take each day as it comes and leave the rest to the forces of nature who think they know best!

Funnily enough before I started complicating things that was my motto… yeah well… whatever!

Story of my life!!!

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