So then after those famous last words - the series start …
Let’s talk about FRIENDSHIP, shall we?
Your other family.
The ones whom you have the right and the independence to choose.
I heard this recently – Apparently if you are friends with someone for a period of 7 years or more, chances are that you will be friends with them for life. Now, I am not the best person to comment on this. I have friendships that range the 10-20 years period, as well as the ones that are still in their fledgling phase, but that have the propensity to get to the ‘decades-old’ echelon. Of course, over this same period, I have also lost friendships that I thought would never break or fade away and people that have just disappeared, voluntarily or involuntarily from my life.
Me – I am a very complicated person. There are various facets to myself, some of those that I myself am unaware of! On the surface, I am an extrovert. I make friends easily. I talk a lot. I am vibrant in company. I can hold my own on a diverse range of topics. But on the other hand, I am a very private person too. I don’t trust people easily. I let only very very very few people into my head and I prefer it that way. I find it hard to express my feelings. And I find it hard to let people inside of me. So I let it be. In the hope that the other person understands what I mean to say, through my so-called actions, gestures and sometimes even the most stupidest of things I say, totally unrelated to what I really wanted to say, in the first place. This would be me reaching out. Of course, they may or may not understand and that’s where the wavelength, frequency, chemistry or whatever fancied terms you call it as, comes into picture.
The reason is trust once broken takes a long while to be regained and restored. The broken trust also brings with it skepticism, fear and a sense of questioning that not many people are aware of. Sometimes others suffer for what someone else has done. Or sometimes, they lack the patience to see the broken person through it and to regain or restore that trust. This is precisely the reason that many of us have more of acquaintances and hi-bye, casual friends, as opposed to very few close ones. It’s also the reason that I cannot claim that there exists one single person on this earth who knows every single thing about me. Probably if you get all my close friends together, of which there are very few, you may piece together stories about my life – bits and pieces again!
Most of my present day solid friendships were formed in my twenties. Some in the blink of an eye, some over a couple of drinks, an evening out, a chance meeting and some others over a period of months and some even years!! They are all people that I trust on various levels. And they are all people that I know I can turn to in rain or shine :-) and by god, am I thankful for them or what! But then, there have also been hits and misses. Lessons learnt, fingers burnt, and strife dealt with. Lots of insights along the way as well.
There are a lot of things that these bonds have taught me.
That there are always those kinds of rapports, the ones you can just pick up from where you left off! And you realize that nothing has changed. It’s like the break never occurred. These are the best kinds!!
That friendship can happen for the most stupidest of reasons. Like the fact that you both like the same cocktail. Or the fact that you both had that one person in common that you hate. You never know! And sometimes, you just know! :)
That you can always recall back to that time when you crossed that line with someone from stranger to acquaintance to friend to trusted pal or vice versa! That one discerning moment!
That sometimes you become friends with someone too soon, and too close. And you may not realize why or when. Because you are having too good a time with them! And then, your friendship with them reaches a maturity point. Where neither will have anything more to say, talk or share with the other. But that doesn’t mean that the friendship has ended. It just means that you have grown along in the friendship and now you are comfortable in silence as well in chat.
That chalk and cheese can actually be friends! Sometimes the people that you least expected to be friends with in the initial twenties, will turn out to be the ones that you are more comfortable with and you wonder why you never liked them back then!
And the most important of them all, that the people who like you for what you are; will always let you be the way you want to be.
In the course of these years, I have come across all sorts of people. I am sure you must have too.
The good ones. The bad ones. The ugly ones. The helpful ones. The selfish ones. The selfless ones. The ones with the devil-may-care attitude. The ones who genuinely look out and care for you. The ones who take you for a ride. The ones who take you for granted. And the ones who let you be.
All sorts of them. Most of these sorts are my friends. I probably belong(ed) to most of these sorts as well. Maybe not the entire gamut, but definitely an overlap of some of these.
Learn to choose your friends wisely. Pick up from the hits and misses! But never ever regret any of the moments! Most of your ‘rocking-crazy-fun filled-memorable-bad ass’ experiences come from the twenties. Where the only thing on the mind is to live on the edge, meet new people, gain new experiences and live it up! This decade is a great time for this. It’s the time that you are spreading out your wings. It’s that point of time where you are on the brink of ‘something old’ and ‘something new’ syndrome. When you step out on your own into the big world – the jungle! :) Make the most of it! :)