Friday, August 16, 2013

When it comes to something like FRIENDSHIPS, I sure can ramble on!! :)

So then after those famous last words - the series start …

Let’s talk about FRIENDSHIP, shall we? 


Your other family.

The ones whom you have the right and the independence to choose.

I heard this recently – Apparently if you are friends with someone for a period of 7 years or more, chances are that you will be friends with them for life. Now, I am not the best person to comment on this. I have friendships that range the 10-20 years period, as well as the ones that are still in their fledgling phase, but that have the propensity to get to the ‘decades-old’ echelon. Of course, over this same period, I have also lost friendships that I thought would never break or fade away and people that have just disappeared, voluntarily or involuntarily from my life.

Me – I am a very complicated person. There are various facets to myself, some of those that I myself am unaware of! On the surface, I am an extrovert. I make friends easily. I talk a lot. I am vibrant in company. I can hold my own on a diverse range of topics. But on the other hand, I am a very private person too. I don’t trust people easily. I let only very very very few people into my head and I prefer it that way. I find it hard to express my feelings. And I find it hard to let people inside of me. So I let it be. In the hope that the other person understands what I mean to say, through my so-called actions, gestures and sometimes even the most stupidest of things I say, totally unrelated to what I really wanted to say, in the first place. This would be me reaching out. Of course, they may or may not understand and that’s where the wavelength, frequency, chemistry or whatever fancied terms you call it as, comes into picture.

The reason is trust once broken takes a long while to be regained and restored. The broken trust also brings with it skepticism, fear and a sense of questioning that not many people are aware of. Sometimes others suffer for what someone else has done. Or sometimes, they lack the patience to see the broken person through it and to regain or restore that trust. This is precisely the reason that many of us have more of acquaintances and hi-bye, casual friends, as opposed to very few close ones. It’s also the reason that I cannot claim that there exists one single person on this earth who knows every single thing about me. Probably if you get all my close friends together, of which there are very few, you may piece together stories about my life – bits and pieces again!

Most of my present day solid friendships were formed in my twenties. Some in the blink of an eye, some over a couple of drinks, an evening out, a chance meeting and some others over a period of months and some even years!! They are all people that I trust on various levels. And they are all people that I know I can turn to in rain or shine :-) and by god, am I thankful for them or what! But then, there have also been hits and misses. Lessons learnt, fingers burnt, and strife dealt with. Lots of insights along the way as well.

There are a lot of things that these bonds have taught me.

That there are always those kinds of rapports, the ones you can just pick up from where you left off! And you realize that nothing has changed. It’s like the break never occurred. These are the best kinds!!

That friendship can happen for the most stupidest of reasons. Like the fact that you both like the same cocktail. Or the fact that you both had that one person in common that you hate. You never know! And sometimes, you just know! :)

That you can always recall back to that time when you crossed that line with someone from stranger to acquaintance to friend to trusted pal or vice versa! That one discerning moment!

That sometimes you become friends with someone too soon, and too close. And you may not realize why or when. Because you are having too good a time with them! And then, your friendship with them reaches a maturity point. Where neither will have anything more to say, talk or share with the other. But that doesn’t mean that the friendship has ended. It just means that you have grown along in the friendship and now you are comfortable in silence as well in chat.

That chalk and cheese can actually be friends! Sometimes the people that you least expected to be friends with in the initial twenties, will turn out to be the ones that you are more comfortable with and you wonder why you never liked them back then!

And the most important of them all, that the people who like you for what you are; will always let you be the way you want to be.

In the course of these years, I have come across all sorts of people. I am sure you must have too.

The good ones. The bad ones. The ugly ones. The helpful ones. The selfish ones. The selfless ones. The ones with the devil-may-care attitude. The ones who genuinely look out and care for you. The ones who take you for a ride. The ones who take you for granted. And the ones who let you be.

All sorts of them. Most of these sorts are my friends. I probably belong(ed) to most of these sorts as well. Maybe not the entire gamut, but definitely an overlap of some of these.

Learn to choose your friends wisely. Pick up from the hits and misses! But never ever regret any of the moments! Most of your ‘rocking-crazy-fun filled-memorable-bad ass’ experiences come from the twenties. Where the only thing on the mind is to live on the edge, meet new people, gain new experiences and live it up! This decade is a great time for this. It’s the time that you are spreading out your wings. It’s that point of time where you are on the brink of ‘something old’ and ‘something new’ syndrome. When you step out on your own into the big world – the jungle! :) Make the most of it! :)

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Inching towards the big THREE OH! :) :) New Beginnings!!!

There is this post for my blog that I have been contemplating for a while now.

It started out as an idea for a take on "Life in the Twenties" concept.

About the ups and downs and the way that things unfold and what to expect etcetera from my viewpoint considering that I was soon going to be hitting the big three-oh. It is most definitely a milestone of sorts, age-wise, experience-wise and also learning-wise.

It all started when some time back I came across these letters. One was a letter from a 19 year old to a daughter she was going to adopt and you could see such depth in it. The others were some from older selves to younger selves; their own or people they wanted to send it to…  I wanted to do one of these, or something on those lines. But the fact was that, I didn’t know whom I should be penning this to?  To my child, who may or may not be born? To my own younger self?  To the other 20-year olds?  I still don’t know frankly. And I am not too sure what I really have to say. And then it struck me that I was getting nowhere with it. Not with what I wanted to talk about, how to put it into words, how to frame experiences from my life, with respect to people, career, love, family, relationships etc. I hit a block and I wasn’t sure how to proceed with it. I had specific things in my mind that I wanted to touch upon. I knew that if I had to write it in one go; it would be like a mega blog post.

So then I thought that maybe this was not the right time to pen this, maybe I was not ready… but what the heck! My Blog! My Expression! My Life! :P (Shameless Plug-in as you can see ;) ).

Officially, I have started on my 30th year. I have completed 29 years and this is the last time I will be embracing the term “I am in my twenties!!”..

How does it feel to be hitting the big three oh?? A bit different…

How different? A teeny-weeny bit from when I wrote THIS post…

Is that good different or bad different? I am not sure, to be honest!

How has my twenties been?  I think A ROLLER-COASTER RIDE should sum it up nicely… :)

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.” -  Calvin & Hobbes!

That’s precisely my twenties. :D Good times, Bad times, Fun times, Stressful times, you name it, I have had it! :)

They say that the twenties are the best times of your lives. And for now, I got to agree! Unless the thirties show me something better ;-) 

Terrific Twenties... Hell yeah!  Of course! Tumultuous Twenties... Sure! That too!

My adolescent years were a breeze compared to my twenties. If my adolescent years were peppered with rage, rebellion, mood-swings, helplessness, mainly because I didn’t know why I was behaving the way I was, my twenties were a lot worse. They are not too much different, the early twenties I mean, when compared to your teenage years. The only and the most important difference being, you start realizing why you feel something instead of the popular “I don’t know why I feel this way!” phrase! You find specific reasons to attribute those feelings to! And you get better at it, as you go along.

To me, that was the whole crux of my twenties.  If you ask me what is the one thing that strikes me first when I think of my twenties, its CHOICE. INDEPENDENCE most definitely, follows a close second. And more often than not, they went hand in hand for me. 

What have my twenties taught me? A whole bunch of things. :)

To me, this is the decade that I started to experience the true meaning to living life to the fullest…

I lived. I laughed. I loved. I was loved. I lost some. I won some. I learnt.

To me, this is the decade that I started realizing myself. Who I was, what I was turning to, what I had been all this while and why I was like that all these years …  I liked the person I was becoming from the person I was. I enjoyed discovering things about myself.

Then somewhere it struck me that if I had to cover everything that I wanted to talk about, it would be better to do this as a series. At the very least, it will save my writing from dying out.

All I can say is that it may help you who are reading this, but then again it may not.

It may make sense to you, dear reader, but then again, it may not. Your life and my life are / may be poles apart of course.

What I pen here, is the sum of my experiences, stuff that I have picked up from these many years … some of it in existence, but some truly living it up…

Somewhere I hope you identify with it.

Somewhere I hope you nod your head and say that “Yes! It happened to me too!” …

So then, here’s to NEW BEGINNINGS! :-)

Grahanam - A review!

It has been quite some time since I penned something on this blog, and even longer, since I wrote a movie review. But there is no good time ...