Sunday, May 27, 2012

Two decades and some eight years thence ....

It’s been quite a while since I penned something on my blog that cannot be termed as frivolous or even sorts of a gap filler. Yeah! gap-filler is the right word here considering that I have been writing about random stuff to the point that when I open my blog, all I want to do is to go back and read those old posts that I have written. They are the ones that I can relate to the most. They are the ones that I wrote for the sake of writing and not for the sake of letting the blog die …

Writing is something that I enjoy, or rather enjoyed, seeing that I haven’t been doing much of it lately. If this is writer’s block then this is the worst that I have ever endured. And I fear that this post is going to be a lot monotonous as well.

You’ve been forewarned! Now proceed! That is if you are still reading this!

I turned 28 a few days back. It was not as earth-shattering as expected. I always thought that turning a year older especially when you cross your mid twenties is going to be hard! With all the brouhaha that’s associated with hitting the 30’s and turning a year older, this was something that I had mixed opinions about. But somehow with each passing year, I am surprised to find that I am looking forward to the next one where another year will be added to my years of existence. I am keen to know what kind of a person I will turn out to be and how different it will be from this year.

A year back, I could not have even predicted the changes that have taken place in my life and those surrounding me. I did not have even the faintest clue. Through each passing year, it still amazes me as to how much as a person I have changed. Or how circumstances have changed me!! I am not the same person I was a couple of years back. If you were to meet me today after a gap of few years, you are bound to be surprised / shocked by the changes in me. I have changed a lot over the past few years and I have come to accept it. My priorities have changed, my ideologies have changed, there is a much clearer sense of what kind of a person I am and what I want to be.

If you were to ask me if I prefer this current me to the old me, I don’t have an answer for you. In a lot of ways I think that the old me was a lot less complicated as a person rather than this current me. The complications in me as person arise probably with age. I know I used to be more flexible as a person, I know I used to be a lot more happy-go-lucky and a lot less decisive!! It used to be more of go with the flow than do things that really I liked! Oh! How things have changed from thereon…!!!
Expecting me to be the same person I was a few years back is something next to impossible. There might probably be glimpses of that girl that I once was years back, vestiges of the shadow of a being that I once was. Asking me why I am not like that and what has changed and why I have changed as a person is something that I have no answer to except the fact that, as life goes on, there are times that you are forced to change from within. And this coming from a person who is not overtly fond of change!! In fact given a chance I’d rather have everything as-is until kingdom come!! Or maybe not!!

Yeah! Bundle of contradictions..That’s me!!  

And now that I have written so much, which I am quite surprised at myself… I have no idea how to end this post!!

Err... So this is what you’re stuck with!! Talk about a dilemma!

And also it’s quite a serious post eh! Ah well! :-/

Edited to add: I myself can’t figure out what this post was supposed to convey in the first place!! Good luck to you guys! :)

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