Saturday, November 21, 2009

Our 'Kurbaan' for Kurbaan!!!

We just got back home after watching 'Kurbaan'. We had heard good reviews about it, the trailers looked promising and Saif being one of the actors, I was really keen to watch it. Good idea about the movie watching, you might think! I thought so too until we actually started went to watch it. 

No, this is not about how good the movie is or what the story is or even what kind of a review I am going to give it. I would have been able to give it a good review had I been able to watch it properly with some amount of concentration that I normally pay to a movie. Leave alone concentration, I just could not enjoy the movie. 

Have you ever gone to a movie that looked and sounded promising and entertaining only to have not enjoyed because of the audience reactions? I have! A lot of times! And more often than not, I have put up with it because some time or the other I have done it myself. Screamed for horror movies, laughed out loud for comedies, passed comments for movies that warranted it and in general had a good time at movies - the how and where of all of it taken into consideration. 

How would you rate 'Kurbaan' looking at the trailers? (I am asking this assuming that you've caught one of the trailers!) A movie dealing with a sensitive subject, taken in a dramatic and serious way and subject to a lot of mixed opinions. This is what I felt when I saw/heard about the movie first. But never in my wildest dreams would I have thought about it as a comedy movie like the group behind me that thought it was just that. Or a high-class romantic movie on the lines of 'Notting Hill' that the couple in the seats right next to our friends thought. 

Dear lady and gent who were in the seats next to where my good friends were sitting, I have a few things to point out to you. 

---> Look! I am all for understanding when you have reached the cinema hall late and you have to get to your seats which are situated right in the centre of aisle 'P or Q' or goddamn wherever! What I am not considerate about is the fact that you step on a whole lot of toes (literally!), spill the coke that is kept on the designated holder without even bothering to see where you are placing your leg and then move over without even apologizing for the fact that you did all this! Because woman or man, if I had my way then my cup of coffee would have found a place over your head! I mean it! 

---> Also, this was not a romantic movie. Guaranteed that there were a few romantic steamy scenes, but that does not give you the right or permission to hold your own romance in the midst of people trying to watch a movie on a sensitive issue. 

---> And once more for this to get into your thick head, you stepped on our toes (again literally and figuratively!) when you went out to buy popcorn and then did the same thing again when you came back to your seat. Seriously!! Do you not look where you place your feet? Really!! Next time, I will place the leftover cheese from my nachos combo right under your pointed heels so that you get the POINT!!! Once I can understand, twice I am ok with it but THRICE???  Jeez!!!

Dear group that were sitting right behind us in the theatre, some words of advice to you too.

---> If you are watching a serious movie, you are supposed to be a little serious when you are watching it. Did that make sense? It did to me! What's the meaning when you laugh at the fact that the guy has been shot and is dying or when the bomb has just blasted off half a station into smithereens? To me it does not mean that you make crude PJ's (poor/pathetic jokes) about it to diffuse the tension. 

---> My seat felt like it was on the Titanic, what with the shaking and prodding from behind. Remember, if you have long legs and you can't keep them in one place. try folding them over one another. It helps! It does not help when you stretch and your legs hit the seat in front of you and I scold my husband thinking its him who's doing the seat-shaking. 

---> I understand that you guys are funny and you use humor as a mechanism for diffusing tense moments, but some of us actually came to watch the movie and wanted to grasp the story being told in a totally uncritical way and you telling corny sad-ass jokes such as,

# Do you know why the guy put the cyanide pill in his mouth, its 'coz he wont be able to take it in his hand and put it in his mouth 'coz his hands will be cuffed. 

Duh! Like we did not know that! Who are you anyways, a dropout from the CBI??

# Oh! They are going to blow up the subways. Do you think they are talking about sandwiches? Maybe the bombs will be put in the sandwiches. 

Okie! What was that all about? Really?? I have heard my share of stupid PJs but that one there swept the awards for the worst joke of the century! 

# Pin-drop silence in the theatre when Saif and Kareena kiss! Silence for like almost a minute and a half. And then BHAM! laughter from the back row when they actually kiss! Now what is there to laugh about? Or did he show some technique there that you were not aware of? 

# Laughter and giggles at all the supposedly sad scenes when people get killed, cars are bombed, and every one is in trouble! Seriously, do you guys have a perverted sense of humor? And that's not just it. Classic 'herd-mentality' in action! One guy starts laughing, the rest join in and then 90% of the theatre is laughing for a scene which is filled with chaos and fire and dead people. Phew! 

I have watched my share of bad movies, I have commented on really really bad ones, created a ruckus in the theatre for movies that had something to cheer about, and generally had my share of merriment! But I have always been considerate of the crowd in and around and kept to my limits! 

This kind of behavior not only spoilt the mood for the movie, did not let us enjoy what could potentially have been a good watch, but irritated us to the extent that we kept on cursing the above fellas for making a Saturday evening start off on a sour note. 

Okie why end this on a bad note?!!?!

The movie is pretty good. Nice songs. Good acting and finally Vivek Oberoi in a sensible role. Saif has done a good job as usual. And also Kareena looks a little old. Kirron Kher has done a nice job and the dialogues though a little hard to follow - 'shudh hindi and a bit of urdu' - are very good. 

Aaaahhh!! Now I feel a lot better after venting it out here!! Phew! :D


  1. Well Guys, Me & My wife were the ones who had to go through this horrible and pathetic event along with the writer.
    Aish, Really a good one....You missed out on one - #The face of a victim was reconstructed by FBI and the guy behind me was asking " What were you doing for the last 4-5 days ? Kuch Kaam Dhandha Nahin Hai?"

    Wow - I have never such a comedian in my entire life. I never knew face reconstructing of a half burned face for this guy was his "Dhai Haat Ka Khel". FBI is really missing such talented guy. Honestly :)

    Litle did i know that all the guys and gals sitting behind our row were genuises behind th story , screenplay of this movie. Had i known that earlier...I could have just directly asked these people the story...It was like, for every scene they had a comment..

    Well next option - Find out the group which movie they are going to watch next and give them back in the same plate. Still can't get over it...

  2. i so totally agree with you Ash.. I've never had such an awful experience... people shud be given classes in ettiquette i think.. but yes a great movie.. :D

  3. Our group, jolly good as always, have gone for gang movies (eeeks... sounds like gang wars :D) and all the laughters and screams stop at the theatre door - okay, at times, 5 mins into the movie.. PVR rightly shows this short-message-clip which shows a guy talking on his mobile while the movie is on. Aliens abduct him, and the theatre is 'peaceful' again :D

    Ppl inside the screen, should shut not only the mobile, but also their mouth! It would be so agonizing and irritating to be in a seat like yours... thirinjirunnoru naalu theri vilichoodaayirunno, nalla pachha malayalathil ! :D

  4. Hehehe... I so-much relate to ur Titanic-chair!!
    @Rat, nammal okke enthoru decent alle? :-p


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